Hello Sycotic Sarah
If I may ask a question, do you actually hear voices? Or are the voices more like thoughts?
I'm sorry you're so tormented, but from what I've been reading on this thread alone, you've already been through so much, it would a be a shame and a discredit to your astounding perservence to give up now, don't you think? I know that sounds like a cold comfort, but it's the truth.
I know what it feels like after facing certain traumatizing situations, or...certain people. So, I can relate in that sense. But, if you could be more specific about your problems I'm sure others, including myself, would be glad to give advice.
Please don't kill yourself, it's rarely justifiable and degrades you as a person. There is so much to live for, given a person has a proper (appreciating) view on life. I've seen terrible things in my life, some are self-generated (thoughts) others are external, they are both equally bothersome, and terrifying. But, if you never attempt to change your view on the world, even the beautiful things in life seem corrupt and disgusting. I should know, I've been languising in that pit of darkness for several years, festering in a baseless hatred for certain people, apathy towards the rest. Only recently have I begun to change my views on the world. It's been mildly successful so far, but true change takes time.
I don't want to seem like I am cramming religion down your throat. But I myself have sought other solutions, and they haven't helped, sometimes they've made it worse. People are flawed, and they won't always be able to help you, only a higher power can during certain moments in your life (sometimes in conjunction with caring people).
I've found that religion (in my case, Christianity) has helped me remain objective about my problems, and be even more human, and feel emotions (the good ones) more strongly. Again, I am not trying to be evangelical for the sake of earning "heaven points," I'm just trying to help. And I've come to realize that quoting scripture (which I 'm no good at) only goes so far. You just have to relate to people and comfort them the best you can, while turning them gently towards the Truth. So, PM me if you want. I'll try my best to help.