gosh i dont know what im doing here anymore. im feeling alot better than before, i dont deserve SF feeling rather down tonight though. im alone. hating my mother more and more each day and i feel ill. i can feel a cold coming on. my throat is dry, my glands are swollen and i feel all achey. just had enough you know? im just SO tired. all the time. im so weak. sometimes i just want to curl up and not move for days. sometimes i dont move all day. i try and lie to myself that everything is alright now. but its not is it? now im filling up with tears. i gues im stronger. im not cutting anymore, but i dont stop thinking about it. every day its in my mind. every day im discovering more things to hate about myself. i make myself cringe. hmm bye.