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Hmm... why would people care?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The_8th_Wonder, Apr 26, 2009.

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  1. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I don't understand why everybody is so active in trying to prevent suicide EXCEPT for the people that would actually care if you were gone. What the hell do people on the suicide hot lines care if I were to die? It doesn't affect them and they wouldn't even know about it. There's a reason "support" forums don't work and that's because people don't care at all... and why should they? Why should people give a shit if you die... it has no affect on their life. The only reason people pretend to give a shit is because it makes them feel better about themselves. Seriously... who gives a shit if somebody who nobody knows on here dies... nobody. Why the hell don't parents ask their kids if they are ok or actually try and care about their life? Perhaps they would actually care if they died and yet they don't even try to fucking stop them.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Well, as far as the last sentence of your thread states, I would agree that the parents should be much more involved. However, this forum has already helped me. I came here looking for methods, read the ethos, then checked out some of the threads and posts and found it to be quite helpful.

    Also, speaking for myself, I care a hell of alot about several people at this site for various reasons. You don't have to see a face or actually hear a voice to know when someone is suffering emotionally. I feel that I know some of them just from pm's etc...and would willingly call them friends.

    Also, it helps me to know if I helped someone else out, which many people have in fact told me.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    The only part of your post that I agree with is the end. You're right; more parents need to show that they care about their kids and try to help them. Too many parents are oblivious to what their kids are going through.

    As for the rest of your post, all I can say is that I care about people in general. If I'm trying to help someone, I'm not doing it because I supposedly need to feel better about myself. I'm doing it because I want that person to feel better.

    It's strange that so many people are ready to accept all the hatred in the world, but it's harder for them to accept that people can actually care about someone they don't know.
  4. Overruled

    Overruled Active Member

    People involved in your life SHOULD be asking about you and help you, but the fact is they don't. This might be because they're uncertain, in denial, or they have no idea.

    We come on here with this problem, hoping others will help us. Does it matter if people don't know us? Everyone here is going through the same problems, and we help each other through it.

    That's why we give a shit. Even if we don't know each other personally, we know we're all people with problems. When one of us gives in, it affects the others. One more life lost to this.

    However, when one is helped, everyone knows something good has happened. Everyone is happier. That's what we want.

    This site was never intended to be permanent solutions by brilliant psychiatrists or anything of the sort; just a meeting point for people who are suffering to talk and build up enough courage to live on and get over the hill.

    It's fine for you to wonder whether or not we really can care about people we don't know, but I swear to God, if you start using this to demean how people feel on this site you will regret it.

    We do care. That's why we're here, that's why we try.
  5. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Is that a threat? What the hell can you do to me?
  6. stlouisrams00

    stlouisrams00 New Member

    Well, I did not come to this site to have people talk me out of suicide. I mean, I'm brand new so no one on here knows me or would notice if I died, so there's no point in making them try to talk me out of it.

    I came here simply for advice. I have suicidal thoughts and feel uncomfortable trying to bring that up with my parents. I found this forum and viewed it as a way to express my feelings in a more confidential way and get people's advice. That worked for me.

    As far as why people care... Because a lot of people in the world are good people who care about people they don't know. The problem is you don't hear too much about those people on the news. You hear of murders, robberies and other negative things.

    Giving advice on here is no different than donating food and clothes to the poor or sponsoring a child thousands of miles away. What happens to the person that you're helping won't affect you, so why do it? Because, surprising enough, there are people who care and this site is full of them.
  7. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    A good thought but I can't believe it. People only do those things to make themselves feel better or less guilty.
  8. Overruled

    Overruled Active Member

    Seeing as you're simply someone on the internet, you know I can't do crap. That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm pointing out that people like you, and like me, think that everyone out there is just another evil son of a bitch. And we're probably right. People suck. But when they have problems like this, they aren't just a regular, ignore everything else because my world is perfect people.

    People in this position are just confused, afraid, and in need of direction and advice. It's people in these situations that you can't afford to doubt, because they will die. If you don't care if they die, then don't help them. It's as simple as that. But you're pretty sick if you want that.

    People can not be broken down into statistics and groups. At least, not on a larger scale. You can't say "no-one cares" because there are people who do, even if it's not the majority. Hell, I'd say most of them are here. Don't doubt everyone.
  9. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I believe others would help people those contemplating suicide because of many reasons and yes some of them that can be selfish.

    They could understand the emotional pain and do not wish that on another person as "Shades" said. They could be trying to preserve another humans life out of emotion or spiritual reasons or they could see it as a way to bring comfort in themselves if they try to reason why someone's life is precious.

    Myself I hope that I can bring some kind of solace or advice to someone as it has been given to me. As well as receive it. I know the feeling of suicidal thoughts and depression as do I know the relief when something good happens or the comfort as someone agrees with a point you are making, showing you are not alone.
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i've been in contact with loads of crisis people, samaritans, therapists and i agree with the OP. it's harsh but my life is a statistic and life out there is cold when you encounter people like that. so is death.

    what you're saying OP is a question i put to my old counsellor (mainly because i was questioning my care-taking/theraputic role in my family and life in general) and she said it's a question that is debated among therapists all the time. there are plenty of people who's 'care' is full of bullshit/self serving lies, and they are doing a job that doesn't listen . it's the same when people say they 'love' you but then don't fully understand the commitment and responsibilities that come with love and abuse that.

    then again, there are people who will listen and who do show they care and are genuine because they analyse themselves deeply. they are very difficult to find.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm not going to lie, I find being here on the forum is very therapuetic for me.. I genuinely care about those that I try to help.. Why else would I stay on with someone for hours trying to help them thru a crisis..I have made many friends here on the forum and have even taken a few outside of the forum as real life friends..People do care about each other here..Sure it makes you feel better when you have helped someone but I don't think it is selfish to feel that way..If I didn't care I wouldn't have tried to help in the first place..I have even had members come back and PM me and thank me for helping them thru a tough time..It makes me very thankfull that I was able to be there for them..
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    there's nothing wrong in that. :hug: and i feel the same way joseph.

    i was talking about very cold people who do their job and are estranged from themselves and it isn't theraputic for them in any way. i can notice sterility, feigned compassion, empty words, and treating my life like a statistic or to get paid, within 1 minute of meeting them.
  13. d-pressed

    d-pressed Well-Known Member

    First, I'm sorry you feel this way but I think you need to tweak your thought processes a little bit.

    When the people most involved in your life aren't aware of how you are feeling, and can't be there for you, then you start looking outside. So it's an important question; why should we care about someone we don't know? There's no right or wrong answer here.

    Yes, you will come across health workers who simply 'do their job' but with little compassion, but then you may also meet strangers who end up saving your life. I do think I share the sentiments of other members here who have felt this forum has really helped them. As to whether they do it simply to feel better about themselves..well, in my opinion that would be far to simplified. I believe compassion for other human beings derives not from the will to make oneself feel better, but from experience and being able to relate to other's feelings. The voice on the end of the phone and the words typed from a computer across the world are from a real, live person, with feelings.

    No one is threatening you, by the way. When Overruled said 'It's fine for you to wonder whether or not we really can care about people we don't know, but I swear to God, if you start using this to demean how people feel on this site you will regret it.' he/she meant that you would regret putting people off this site who are searching for help by suggesting that noone cares here, when that's not true at all. You would especially regret it if we happen to be the 'last resort' before they go and do something drastic perhaps. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?

    What I would say at this point is that you need to have a less cynical approach to people - they're really not all that bad. Everyone has faults but it's about finding the good in people that will give you faith.
  14. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...i'm a parent, and i agree with what you say, in that your parents should be caring about what is happening with you! i am VERY open to anything my children (teen and pre-teen) would want to discuss with me. i will offer unconditional support. i am part of their team. . . not an opponent. but for some reason, i hear very little from them on the serious front :rolleyes:

    still - i wish you were getting that kind of support from your parents.

    that being said, if my children were having suicidal feelings, i would hope they get SOME KIND OF SUPPORT, even if it is on a support forum.

    coming to s.f. saved my life, when i was in a low place and could not see the hope - through my pain. there were living, breathing people here, who helped me, and i'll never forget it.

    personally, i do not respond to people on s.f., out of a desire to make myself feel better. i DO care about people that are obviously in pain. people in my real life do not always make their pain apparent. . if they did, i would respond the same way that i do to those on here. i would be using the telephone or a face-to-face meeting, obviously, but the feeling is the same - straight from the heart.

    compassion for others pain -
    isn't that what makes us human?
  15. Zoe

    Zoe Well-Known Member

    Great point :smile:
  16. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    I will only answer on a personal level & the reason I try to help and be supportive on these forums is in the hope that when I post that I am in a dark place that someone will be there for me the same way I try to be there for others, to talk in the hope that I might be able to bring a glimmer of hope where otherwise there was none.

    forgive but like I said "personal level" answer for myself

    pm me if I can help or you just need someone to rant at
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