Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by cownes, Jan 3, 2010.

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  1. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    does anyone who has been abused find it difficult to date someone, i was sexually abused as a child and the thought of trusting another man jsut completely freaks me out, at the momment there is a chap, who likes me, and hes an amazing person, so caring, but the attention he is giving me is jsut triggering things from the past, i find it so hard to even talk to boys at school as i always fear i will judge them completely wrong, most men that have walked into my life have messed it up, ,then walked out again, i dont want to be hurt again and i no if i can prevent this from happening i will, but this chap at the momment, wants me so bad, and hes constanly flirting with me, i like him too, but i just cant make the commitment, and i feel im hurting him now. I dont no what to do about it, i feel im in a no win situation, which ever decision i chose will be the wrong one, it always is.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi Cownes! I was not sexual abused so I may not be too helpful but I was physically assaulted, held hostage for three days by a man and after that it took a long time to open up to a man in a romantic way. I had a lot of therapy for post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and that helped TONS. Being abused has a unique set of issues that depression does not have entirely and honestly I could not have dealt with them without professional help so that is my best guidance...that and keep coming here so we can support you...:arms: and give you some of those.
    Love Bambi

    p.s. your thread title cracks me up...
  3. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    Hi Bambi,
    I feel so abnoramal lol, as im struggling so much in therapy, i jsut cant seem to crak it, no matter what i try.
    Why does the thread title crack u up lol??

  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    hmmm seems so casual for a subject that is very intense...How long have you been seeing this therapist? Does he/she consider what happened to you a "traumatic" event and thus recognize the signs of it...I am not an expert on sexual abuse by any standards but seems to me sexual assault falls into that ought to check out a site called it has a forum dedicated to PTSD and is staffed by doctors that give advice and have chat room meetings about suck topics....there are a ton of people on that site and posts get buried fast but it is great reading and very informative
  5. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    thanks hun, will check it out, ive been seeing her 2 months now, i never asked for help in the first place, it got forced upon me so that might have something to do with it, and the psyc i saw a few days back was jsut an idiot so im nt going bk there to get help. haha i couldnt think of what to put as the title so jsut put anything there, as it wouldnt let me post without a title.
  6. I do not

    I do not Guest

    I do not think I can ever trust a man. Maybe it is time for me just accept it. Net life is a different thing but on real life my answer is no. I scare men hands, first thing what I thought when I see men hands no matter magazine, tv or real life is hitting, hurting and pain.

    When I had something about 10 years ago I just feel bad all the time. It was mental and physical pain. He did not hurt me physical, he was just regular annoying man but when he tried to touch me it felt too bad.

    Maybe you are lucky.
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