Ive come to the realisation that im the cause for a lot of upset to a lot of people at the moment. This isnt a whining thread or me trying to get sympathy or attention, its me sincerely apologising for anyone i have upset with my actions. I think that sometimes i become obsessed with doing the right thing that i dont stop and think of the consequences of my actions. This is because of something that happened last year and im just really really fucking scared its gonna happen again. I sat by and watched it happen and even cinsidered leaving SF for about 6 months because of it. If i can prevent it from happening again i will but not at the cost of making people feel like shit, thats not right because that has the opposite affect. I know i can be a asshole and i know i can be stubborn and obtuse and at times i refuse to listen to reason and i am trying my best to change that because even i know its unacceptable. Biggest problem im trying to sort out is myself. I dont like myself, never have done, im actually finally getting used to having some self respect and its weird. I guess im getting used to being liked and loved and because im not used to it im trying to make people hate me again because its what im used to. Im slowly getting there but its really hard. Im 27 years old and ive had a lot of shit said and done to me over the years, some of it self inflicted, some not and its taken a toll. Someone loves me and for the first time in my life i believe her, thats a lot for me to deal with so i guess im taking it out on everyone else. Anyways im sorry if its you ive upset in the last few months i honestly didnt mean to.