ho hum.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by anotherinsignificant, Jan 14, 2008.

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  1. right.

    don't trust anyone. can't trust anyone. i suppose i'm digging myself a hole, but i don't really care. or do i? part of me wants to reach out and ask for help, but part of me just wants to continue to hide.
    ...and so i do. instead of trying to open up to people, i opt to hide behind bottles and stick myself with needles. and why shouldn't i? escapism is fun. i'll take it over reality any day!

    i simply don't want to admit that i'm not alright -- not even to myself. to do so admits to a weakness, and weakness disgusts me. instead, i prefer to affect an air of blithe nonchalance and sarcasm, and pretend everything is peachy.
    to be honest for once, i'm fucked. i'm strained in all possible directions and breaking underneath it all. there's so much that's happened to me that i refuse say a word about. i can't see myself out of the hellhole into which circumstance has thrown me. and oh yes, i try...
    i feel like one big, fat, fucking failure. no matter how much effort i put into my situation, it remains the same.


    i just want to vanish. the concept of nothingness fascinates me. i wonder how it would be to eradicate every single cell of my being. maybe curiosity will coerce me into finding out some day.
    i suppose just one thing is keeping me around right now. placing so much value on a human sentiment is a recipe for destruction, i know. oh well. if that vanishes, i'm free to go... :)

    ho hum...what to do?
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :arms: I'm around if you want to chat.
  3. hm. thanks.

    i suppose i'll just slink back into my corner and lapse back into silence again. i value my anonymity too much.

    fuck. why'd i have to say anything in the first place?

    i'll just disappear eventually. :) i'm simply lacking means at present.
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    You don't need to slink back into a corner. :eek:hmy: It's good to talk, to let it out, even if it is anonymously. Don't disappear. :nono:
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Letting it all out is the first step to maybe finding a solution..so agrees with Jess no vanishing.
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    i dont know who this is, I'm wondering if it's someone, but not sure. Regardless you shouldn't disappear, you should vent and talk to people that might be able to help. I thinkt hat you should keep posting and hopefully get some stuff out. :hug:
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