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hobbies and work

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by oval, Sep 12, 2013.

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  1. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    what are some of your hobbies? do you have any? i can say that i pretty much have 0. all i ever do is go to work and when i come home i just sit here and exist until its time to go to work again. i honestly cant even think of one thing i could do, my mind draws completely blank. i feel like i have no personal life/work balance bc i never enjoy myself. i dont have friends to do anything with so that is out of question. my husband and i dont have the same interests and im anxious to leave the house by myself, often times procrastinate anything that involves me going outside alone until its either absolutely unavoidable or i can just go with him.
    i dont like being around people but i also dont like going somewhere where i'd be alone. anything where i would have to go out alone pretty much. the only thing i can ever think of doing that is half enjoyable is smoking weed. so thats all i really do. sit here and smoke and pretend im enjoying myself. and then i go to work the next day and feel even more exhausted and beat and stressed.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun weed is a drug that makes you not want to do anything it is an inhibitor perhaps if you can get some help to get off it you would have more energy to seek out other things to do.
    You are in a hard cycle i hope with support you can break out of that cycle and do something different
  3. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thank you for your response and your concern! but weed isnt the problem, its the solution i choose bc i cant think of anything else enjoyable in the world to do. i only smoke bc i have nothing to do that makes me feel like im partially enjoying myself. the only things i ever do is go grocery shopping and back home in my free time. and i dont particularly like my work so i feel an extra need to regulate that imbalance by doing something fun in my free time.
    i guess im trying to figure out somethings i could try and perhaps make a hobby, something that i can do to feel like i have a lifeand am not just a work horse. so im wondering what some other people here do that also have depression and maybe social anxiety or mental health problems in general. you know, something small scale maybe. i suppose i could go to google too though lol but i think some personal experiences would be nice to hear from people in perhaps similar situations

    most of the time i dont even feel like smoking and i know that i will just eat until i cant move and get all paranoid and uncomfortable. but then i think, shit i have absolutely nothing to do now and im counting the hours until i gotta go to work. i dont want to just sit here and look at my monitor until its time to go to bed. i need some sort of fun escape. and my close minded self cannot seem to be able to think of anything but to take some kind of drug. im considering anything at the moment, anything that makes me forget about work all together
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2013
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    my only hobby is to constantly find new music artists who i've never even heard of before- and sometimes it's amazing, i mean in the last few months, i've come up with at least 5 new artists i'd have never found otherwise as they are not played on the radio

    oh and of course my online games are a big part of my life
  5. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    What is it that you actually have? I notice that you're a longer serving member on here than me - so I may not know what you actually have been diagnosed as having - what you've tried to assist you along towards managing the issues you have etc.

    One thing I will say - is that weed is an illegal substance from where I am. If it's illegal where you are too, i'd consider finding some form of activity. Boredom eating is a sure fire way to eat more than you actually need to - and can cause further issues that have implications such as "weight gain", furthering depression.

    What have you actually tried to find enjoyment in?
  6. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    thank you for both of your replies.
    two years ago i have received a fill-in-the-blanks style folder in which it was stated i supposedly had BPD. i havent gotten an actual diagnosis or ever sat down with the person that labeled me BPD. i think it must have been one of the nurses who didnt really know anyhting about me. i had never heard of the name in the signature. plus i have improved so much that there is no way i have or ever had BPD, as it wouldnt be possible for me to just shed everything.

    i have seen a few therapists over the years but i didnt see any of them for a long time or made any significant improvements with them. ive never been on medication, other then st john's worth, which is an herbal supplement for mood swings and that was awful awful awful.
    the best way to describe myself right now is that im very anti social. perhaps it stems from the social anxiety, that might be making me feel so bothered around people that i am tickled when im finally left alone.

    weed is illegal here too. but i actually live in a very crime ridden city and weed is the last thing the police is worried about here. and you know what else is illegal in my state? oral sex, oddly enough. but that doesnt stop me or anyone else lol but yeah, ive been thinking about laying off the weed for the past few weeks since i smoke bc i have nothing else to do and want to escape a little and feel different.

    i realize now though that i just have to try random things and figure out what i would enjoy myself. coming here to ask others is just another example of how passive i am.
    thank you for your thoughts and happy friday the 13th
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I have so many hobbies and interests that I can never get close to catching up on them all. Hobbies and things like that are what make life worth living sometimes. We go to work and usually don't "enjoy" working, but the outcome of that work is the things we like to do when not working. As others have said, smoking weed only makes you want to do less and less... it is a drug and drugs alter who we are.

    What are your goals in life? Where do you want to be in five years from now? What are you doing to get there?
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    My hobbies are: writing (but I'd like to turn that into more than a hobby), listening to music, traveling, drawing, reading, and a few more that I actually still have interest in. It was hard even to maintain interest in a few things because of the depression. I hate being bored because I don't know how to just be bored, and my mind usually drifts towards bad thoughts.
  9. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    I used to like to draw, play sports and make music, but now I've just lost interest so I don't do those things anymore. About all that's left that I actually enjoy is listening to music.
  10. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    exactly! im working to make money and with that money i dont want to just pay the bills and so i can sit in this box and look at my pc, i want to get something out of it, out of life. i feel as if im only surviving right now. life isnt worth living if all it consists of is working to "survive".
    in 5 years i want to be done or at least close to being done with a bachelors in psychology. ive been heavily considering joining the air force as a step latter for that objective. if all goes well im going to enroll in college next semester and then go from there. for now i have to play the waiting game.

    with fall and winter approaching now i think it will be easier to find enjoyment in activities that dont involve me going outside and i will be able to tend to my 70-year-old-woman-interests and look back into art and arts and crafts. maybe i'll give that indoor herb garden another shot. ive also decided to trade in my electric guitar towards an acoustic one and start playing again. maybe i'll have some other ideas on top of that once i start doing something again and get the ball rolling.

    thanks again to everyone who replied :)
  11. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    Omg same. I used to draw every day and I wanted to make it a career, but I just don't give a fuck about it now. I don't enjoy anything, I just feel extremely bored constantly.
  12. Lost and tired

    Lost and tired Well-Known Member

    Me too. Did a degree in fine art as a painter. I havnt picked up a brush in 17 years. Im now so scared that i'll be shit at it now when it was the only thing I was good at.
  13. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Same exact thing here. Man, what the hell happened?? :/ You'd think we'd wanna do something we used to enjoy to get through this depression shit but nope, it's almost like our brains LIKE the depression. It's messed up...
  14. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    I know :( Art was always my anti-depressant, and now I feel like I have nothing...

    Btw. What did you used to draw?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2013
  15. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    I used to draw all sorts of things I would see, since I've never been good at freehand, like stuff outta magazines, game art, CD art, online images, etc.. What about you?
  16. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    Mostly cartoons and stuff, I wanted to be an animator and go to college for it.
  17. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Cool. I hope you get back into it one day. :)
  18. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    I doubt it
  19. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    so ive been thinking about what to do today. ive been off yesterday and today. yesterday i ran a couple errands and then i was at home, thinking about sketching. it never came to that though. so i ended up sitting on the computer most of the night.
    today ive been feeling creative and ive been wanting to sew something or start a new longer project ive been thinking about for a long time. i dont feel like painting or sketching, sewing, going to the store to buy supplies for my project, not to mention how overwhelming this project seems to me. i dont feel like playing guitar and my amp is broken which makes playing electric guitar no fun anyway. even turning on a game that ive enjoyed for years feels like nothing but work to me and i dont enjoy it.

    everything feels extremely overwhelming and just like a huge amount of work that i dont even wanna think about it.
    so of course, the first thing that comes to my mind, after not smoking for about 2 weeks or so, is getting high again and laying around, wasting my free time. im feeling very frustrated right now with my inability to do anything and my monotone life.
    the day is half over and im afraid that all i will be doing is look out the window, do laundry so my work clothes get washed, then think about going to work tomorrow and having to get up early to hear those fucktards sing fucking church songs and talk about jesus christ and god all day AT WORK, and feel stressed and depressed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 17, 2013
  20. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I have a lot of hobbies. I make chainmaille & beaded jewelry, paint, crochet, photography, sewing, & I've had a piano for a while but I just started learning a new song. I also love antiques. I love plants but unfortunately, I just kill them. I'm a plant murderer. I'm currently murdering a hibiscus. :playful:
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