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Hold my breath.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jacob91, Oct 11, 2007.

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  1. Jacob91

    Jacob91 Member

    It's a terribly hard decision we're all going to have to make.

    And there's the reasons supporting our thoughts towards suicide, perhaps, we feel inadequate, unattractive, worthless, or just feel no need to continue in a futile struggle against time, and would rather forfeit.

    Then there's the counter-struggle. Maybe things will improve? Maybe people will someday see me for what I'm good for? I don't want to hurt family/friends, or is it even worth throwing away a life that for all we know is the only one we get?

    I've thought about it a lot.

    And I mean a LOT.

    I'm only fifteen, but I've had suicidal thoughts since before I knew what suicide was, when I was 7 years old.

    And the only thing I want is to find myself, I've concluded.

    Find why I'm in this world I obviously don't belong in.

    You know what I mean?

    Maybe it's just scraping the inevitable, running from the pain of suicide I gladly embrace.

    Maybe, I don't know, Maybe I'll leave my material possessions behind. Run away, live alone for a few months, fend for myself, get an appreciation for what life was meant to be instead of the life that society has shown us.

    I've chosen that the images the media construes and communicates as perfect - Those images of Chiseled Men and Supermodels, those images are just to further a subconscious desire to be that image, so that we can become desirable.

    But if we work to be desirable, what do we get? A person who would only like us if we were that way, carved out of wood.

    It's the fault of the higher-ups, and we're the only people who perceive a problem, whether or not we're a victim or a witness. It's hurting us in ways we can't dream of articulating and it's time we do what we can to stop it.

    What you're feeling, do you want anyone else to feel the same?

    Please, pay attention to society, see what they've shoved in your skulls. See how it's ultimately responsible for everything.

    Hold on. It can't get any worse. Maybe a change of perspective is the only thing you need to get a counter-reality check, pushing you back into this contrived society with a new resolve.

    And since this time around, you'll have such an advantage, manipulating your perspective could surely make everything appear desirable.

    So please, think about it a bit more.

    And the only way to fins
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Very intelligent summary! :smile:
  3. DenverChris

    DenverChris Member

    ^^^ Very intelligent indeed.... And you're fifteen? Not doubting, just thinking back to when I was that age....
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking road trip, like one of those cheesy music videos where all the kids pile into a junker car, take their shoes off and put their feet out the window.
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