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  1. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    As a lot of people on here are aware, im currently undergoing chemotherapy for liver cancer and hepatitis c. What some of you might not be aware of is i also suffer from bi-polar disorder. These meds im on are the most horrific medication you could possibly imagine. They are supposed to make me better, yet they cause debilitaing side effects that none of you could possibly imagine unless you have been on them. It also plays havoc with my bi-polar in unimaginable ways. Im one who believes that trying to describe something to someone who has never been their is like trying to teach a blind man to see, its not gonna happen. I can list all the side effects, but you get the picture. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, this post aint about me apologising, or me having a rant at someone or something, its about this:

    Im 28 years old, ive lived long enough to know life is harsh and unforgiving. Ive seen things that noone should see, ive experienced things i wouldnt wish my enemies to go through, half the stuff ive gone through should have killed me years ago in all honesty. Even though ive been through this and im currently going through all this shit, i still manage to crack a smile (occasionally), i have the odd good day, granted, at the moment its mostly bad but truth is i found something thats actually worth living for last year, without which id probably be dead by now because theirs no way id ever contemplate getting this medication otherwise.

    Like many people on this site who are currently hurting and in pain and who generally think life is a waste of time, ask anyone who was around when i first joined in 2009, i was the same as you. I couldnt really see a meaning to anything, i thought everyone was out to hurt me in some form or another and take what they could get, especially on here. Truth is, its never as bad as you think. Your mind plays tricks on you and will blow every little thing out of all proportion, when that happens, just hold on, breathe deeply and try and sort the problem out, if you cant, ask for advice or help, theirs no shame in it, but most importantly, dont listen to yourself or others when they say your this that and everything else, just smile and walk away, trust me it hurts them more to know they cant get to you.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you have something to keep you fighting hun and your right it is better to walk away and not even respond hugs to you
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    All I can say is I am very sorry you are going through this, and thank you so much for sharing your insights as you did...J
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    that is inspiring Wayne...I'm glad you shared with us..
    i'm sad though that you have so much to deal with..:arms: take care
  5. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    You really are becoming advice central aren't you :p

    Nice to see you happy though i must admit xx
  6. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Thanks all, i just thought it was important that people realise that just because their own mind tells them something, doesnt mean its the truth.
  7. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Thanks Wayne. Coming from you, what you said means a awful lot. *hug
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