Holding back

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shauna Lea, Feb 27, 2007.

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  1. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I sit here at work holding bac the tears, i want to cry my eyes out, i want to scream, i want this to b over!
    Im sick of holding back. I hold bac how i feel so i dont hurt people, i hold bac the fact that i need to b with *him* because i kno he deosnt want to b wit me even tho we love each other...(go figure?)
    I dont wanna sound like a quitter because thats not me, this depressed person is not me!...but its where i am at the moment...i dont want to b here n e more.
    I kno how many people i would hurt by killing myself and i feel so incredibly guilty and horrible, but i dont think its fair that im being punished when i never did n e thing wrong. all i ever did was love him, i was loyal to him, i gave him EVERYTHING!....so y do i deserve this? Its unfair!
    I want to end it.....
    ......now i just have to get the rope!
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Hey Shauna. I'm sorry you are having such a lousy day :( Broken hearts CAN heal, but it might be best for you to discontinue contact with your ex until you can get over the pain of losing him. It only makes it harder to let him go if you have to see him all the time. Try to be strong and you WILL find someone who is worthy of your love and devotion.
  3. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni

    Shauna Lea,

    hey completely understand you when you said "...but its where i am at the moment..." can really relate to that...whats been going on for you....do you have a therapist or a helpline.....lean on us...totaly value your feelings...they r real.....we're here for you...... :hug:
  4. ***LEA***

    ***LEA*** Guest

    Ahh, Shauna, what can i do to help you through this? I'll do whatever i can, i know how hard it is for you.:sad:
    Please, please dont do anything, please give yourself longer to heal and feel better about life. I am always here if you need me for anything at all.
    Take care babe, Lea :flowers: :hug:
  5. scribblez

    scribblez Member

    I know how you feel, I've recently met someone I think i'm in love with. I have a wife I havn't loved for a long time, I stay because of the kids but now I resent them as well as her.
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