Holding on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by echo_bravo, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. echo_bravo

    echo_bravo Member

    Honestly, tonight was the closest I've ever come to going through with my plans. I've got a full bottle of sleeping pills sitting next to me and I thought, I'm going to drive out to that park and take them all and I will feel better in the morning.

    You just reach that breaking point where stress reaches up and starts smothering you, and you feel like there's nothing that can make it go away. My friends didn't answer their phones. My sister went out with her friends. All I had here was my cat.

    So thankfully I came on here, (I haven't been on in a while) and was reminded of all the helpful people. I read about making a crisis box (which I am most certainly doing as soon as I get a break) and I thought of all the damage I would be doing to the people I love if I went through with it.

    I'm still not feeling perfect. I never will, but I feel a small sense of calm, of peace almost, that makes me know I can hold on. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm holding on. It's not easy, but the right things rarely are.

    Thanks everybody.
  2. bonbon718

    bonbon718 Well-Known Member

    Ella, I'm so glad you came here tonight. It's a great place to get support, especially when you don't feel like you're getting it irl. This forum has saved me more than once. Keep talking, okay? And feel free to PM me. I will always listen and try to offer encouragement.
  3. Lost_Daughter

    Lost_Daughter Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are going through an extremely hard time rightnow,but I'm glad you remembered our little family here. It is comforting to know there is somewhere to go to express your feelings and find people who can relate and care. Keep posting and keep your head up :hug:
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