Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Vitreledonellidae, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Going on holiday for 2,5 weeks tomorrow, so i wont be online.
    Ok now the thing I wanted to let out.
    I didnt want to go, I just wanted to stay home alone. But they didnt want that. Because they are scared that I will do something to myself. So they just booked this house in france and said to me that they booked it for me specially. No people around, so I can just walk around with short sleeves and dont have to worry about my scars. Telling me that it was an expensive house and all that kind of crap. You know, what parents always do, make you feel guilty. So I said, okay, I will go with you.
    Now it seems they invited some of their friends the first week. Oh yeah, that will be very comfortable walking around with short sleeves. They got young kids, I will fucking freak those kids out if I would do that. So I have to walk around with long sleeves the whole fucking time, while its around the 35 c. And last night I fucking cut myself on my wrist, over and over, till I found it deep enough. Which was fucking stupid, ofcourse they will find out about that. They stare at my arms constantly, hoping that they find new scars and make me feel bad about myself. I'm so stupid, why did I cut myself on my wrist? Just because I wanted to be closer to dead? Not that the cuts are that bad. I'm such a fucking retard!
    My plans for this holiday, ignore and avoid everyone. Get up early, go walking or biking all mornig, go sleep all day and wait till the rest goes to bed, than wonder around all night. Yeah will be an awesome holiday for us all. I will be alone, like usual and you will have your friends for entertainment.
    See you all in 2,5 weeks, but hopefully for you I will get an "accident" and fall off a clif or something.
    Stay safe and take care all