Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stacyd, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. stacyd

    stacyd New Member

    I know holidays are bad for a lot of people, but nothing makes me feel worse than being around my family.

    I can't come up with a single reason to stay alive, and that scares me.

    I don't even know what to say, except that today is one of the bad days and I'm trying to hang in there. My visualizations are getting more clear and I can practically feel my self doing it, I want to soo bad. Usually I can talk myself out of it, but today I just don't want to.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that today is so bad for you, but you are hanging in there which shows tremendous inner strength.

    Is there anyway you could get away from your family? What is it about them that makes you feel bad?

    There will be at least one reason to stay alive, but it might be hard to see right now. What about friends? Anyone that you care about? pets? Maybe something as simple as the sun is enough to give you hope? Or hope in something else?

    Do you have any professional support? Like a psych or therapist, are you on any meds?

    Maybe you could draw or write out your visualisations as opposed to acting them out. Doing something like writing or drawing might be enough to get them out of your head a bit.

    Hang in there honey, you are fighting really hard.

    Take care
  3. tired eric

    tired eric Member

    I hear you about holidays. I am pretty close to the end. My marriage is all but over and I am screwing up my job, which I hate anyway. This morning, I actually had a good moment and was feeling a little happy. However, my dog got away from me, ran down the driveway and bit (it was a scratch from him jumping, but it was a 'he said, you said' argument). Animal control came and now I might loose the dog, get charged with a misdemeanor as well get sued. I am not saying it was the guy's fault as it was mine, but I have had enough.

    I am so close to making this my last day on this earth. I am almost 38 years old and a lifetime of struggle has left me paralyzed with grief at times. It just should not be this hard to live. Finding happiness in even the small things has become too difficult. With little family left, my exit will not create sorry or saddness for other.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 8, 2007
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