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holy shit

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The_Discarded, Jan 3, 2011.

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  1. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    when did i get so goddamn weak

    what the hell just happened? i was trucking along a little with the idea that i'd work it out. and, i mean, nothing has suddenly changed -- did someone flip a fucking switch?

    i can barely put up with myself anymore. a lot of fronts here and this happens all the time and every time i think i'm trucking along i get hit with one.

    it's fucking cold everywhere. i want out of this and everything. i'm so tired. what am i doing back in this mindset? why do i always go back into this mindset when things get a little bit much? i don't want to be destined for this lot in life, and i'm failing a lot of the wrong people right now. thinking about a lot of the wrong things.

    how come i can't crawl out of it? i've seen others crawl out of it. i've never been out of it for more than a few months, not since i can remember, but i can crawl too. i can crawl with the best of them, i just can't crawl out of it. something is fundamentally too not right and i'm such a fucking secret perfectionist and i don't feel well in so many ways.

    almost nothing i hate more than a lack of resilience, but there is nothing i hate more than myself

    but who would i be to murder someone just because i dislike her?
  2. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    over and over and over. i'm about done. but i'll be okay. of course i'll be okay, so you can ignore this. this sounds like

    "waaah why is this happening to me wahhhhhh my life is over everything sucks why me me me me waaaah"

    so i mean you know, there's your summary if you fucking needed one
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not weak at all. Perhaps getting the doc to change your meds a bit so you don't keep dropping every few months The balance is not being kept thats all. Let you doc know what is happening okay so can correct it
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Now listen up Ear :mad:

    Don't know exactly how much you have to deal with, as in the crap that life sends you, but if I remember rightly its a bucket load.
    Have had a bucket load meself these past months and I know my resilience has hit an all time low.
    We can only take so much and then somethings gotta give and its usually ourselves.
    Let yourself be weak for a bit, have a good wallow, moan on here till everyone is sick to death of it, thats what the forum is for.
    Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and smack someone right between the eyes :laugh:
    No seriously, be kind to yourself, let us support you when life is crap, cos I know you'll come out on top. :hug:
  5. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    thanks good folks :hug: suppose i'll deal

    i always enjoy your words, terry :laugh:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you are kind to you okay YOu deserve kindness time out for just you hugs
  7. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    I have nothing constuctive so here :hug:
  8. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Constructive too
  9. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    oh. OH. you'll be okay, bb raebit. just enjoy some vegetable soup, etc. :arms:

    (also, don't murder people, that's not nice.)
  10. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I'm too hungover to offer anything constructive so i thought i would just attack you with cuddles.

    Are you recieving any treatment?

    :hugtackles: :hugtackles: :hugtackles: :hugtackles: :hugtackles: :hugtackles: :hugtackles:
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