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Home and vulnerable

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I got home a couple hours ago, been talking alot about everything to partner (rob), went straight in the shower to decontaminate and started crying. And since then lots of panicky talking and breaking down crying. So took Lorazapam, we had a short walk to collect brambles for the stick insects and came back and rob helped me do them and the rest of the animals. I feel a little better after that, but still fels like everything is so overwhelming, and I feel so vulverable, shakey and well feel like weak too. rob said part of its shock and trauma of everything.

Not going to hve little one back tonight, one night here without, hopefully i can settle a bit before we see eachother again
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Sad Elf

Well-Known Member

I think it is probably normal to be anxious when returning home, it sounds like you are doing all the right this by talking to Rob getting some fresh air etc.

I think a nights sleep in your own bed will do u the world of good, and hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter.

Take Care


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Sometimes, some places have a day-time, type program (usually referred to as a “partial hospitalization,” program). I don’t know if that’s something you could look into, or would work for you... but I do know others who has said that this is something that has helped them with the transitioning back into their regular daily lives . And especially for those who did not appreciate whatever was a part of their day before, this can provide a buffer, or give a little bit of a structure in place of what yiure now experiencing & going through.


Has a frog in the family
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i am so pleased that you're home @Ouroboros . right now you are vulnerable and will be for a little while. the good thing is that you have a partner to lean on. i know it sucks to have to lean on a partner but actually it's good for your partner as well as you.

your partner definately wants to help you get better and if you search your soul you know you would do the same for him. you are both lucky to have a close relationship. and as long as you are both close and together you will both be happy and safe...mike...*hug*shake


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feel so weak, and i'm scaared all the time, and cry alot so easily. and i'm groggy from the zopiclone. had to go to shop as cant be left on my own. it was horrible, , i cant be around people. i want to be gone. Took lorazapam so i could be calmer and went to robs parents where little one stayed last two nights. it was ok. she is home now. i feel worse than i did before goign to hospital in many ways, i'm taking the meds but these are all short term fix, i need long term meds sorted. right noww i'm either anxious mess unable to keep it together for more than few minutes, or i'm sleepyy coz i'm sedated

@MisterBGone I dont think day programmes an option anyway


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@Ouroboros , I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a tough time with this. . . (I know what it’s like: I’ve lost count, and it’s been some time, but I’d estimate I’ve been inpatient somewhere in the neighborhood of 10-12 times!) - yikes, I know..;) Do you have, or is there a plan in place for you to get some more long term help, in the form of psychiatry? Those meds they give you on the way out the door can be impractical. I remember my last visit, I didn’t even get to see the doctor before discharge; & I’m sitting there with this Nurse Practitioner, who’s literally sitting there going through the list of antidepressants, playing “hop-scotch,” more or less, perhaps “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!” With them. Saying, “well you’ve tried this, how about that (oh you’ve tried that, well that don’t work , do I you want me to give you this?)” ... & then the caveat - which was was ridiculous at the time, I felt I knew more about the medication s specifically than she, because I had to correct her on a few mistakes she made in her declarations, and when I did so, she didn’t even know (that she was wrong; or whether or not she was right - I was NT even sure if she’d ever heard of a neurotransmitter before..) but the she says, “well I can only write you a script for two weeks, on any of them. So it really doesn’t matter (which one it is): keep in mind, a lot of them take 6-8 weeks to get going in the first place! : ) it’s quite a shock to the system. What you’ve gone through. And half the time, like you said, their goal is to turn you into a zombie so that doesn’t help matters in terms of resting assured or easing your mind... slowly, but surely - things will start to get & look back to normal. You’ve just got to give it time. Understand the situation. Where you’ve been. And what you’ve gone through. I know it’s no consolation but what you’re describing is a very similar story to ones I’ve heard played out a great many times in these partial hospitalization programs. I didn’t quite experience it so much myself; but then again, I was never drugged so severely... one thing you’ll hear as well with great frequency, is that when some are in there (the hospital), they feel a sense of calm/relief (like their troubles have been put on the back burner and they can fade away... relax and be happy and worry free ). Then they get released and it hits them like a cold slap in the face (reality that is...) / fortunately, I escaped rather unscathed there too. So I don’t have any first hand advice on how to navigate your way through this. Other than to reiterate or reinforce what others here have said. (That) it does get better. Easier, and more back to normal (things will start to slow down as you adjust to your senses and your settings and all other stimuli for that matter). But getting the medication regimen in order and establishing some kind of healthy routine will do you the best favors and wonders imaginable (or possible), I believe. That’s what I would (look to) do, if I were in your shoes... good luck 🍀
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