Home is a suicide trigger for me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chernarus, May 16, 2009.

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  1. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    currently im in a treatment center not a loony bin and im on home pass which is were u get a pass to get away from it and go home. home for me i love my home i love being there but it makes me soo damn suicidal. i dont know why. but i feel so damn suicidal its all i can think about here is offing my self. so i dont know what im asking but ill ask away is it that way for anyone else or why is it that way its something i cant tell my therapist because she wont let me come home and if i told her how suicidal i am shed just throw me in the loony bin and not try and help me. what do i do.
     
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Has something happened to you at home that has made you feel this way? Does home hold bad memories for some reason at all?

    I feel that way about my home town, the entire place in itself is just one big trigger and I need to get out. Everything bad that has happened to me, happened here and everytime I escape for a significant amount of time I immediately start to feel better - until I have to return.

    Is there maybe somewhere else you can go when you get a home pass? Like your Grandmothers or your Aunts/Uncles/Cousins/Friends etc.
     
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Home's a trigger for me, too. I moved away, far away... I have nightmares about going back, even for a visit.
     
  4. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    Could be a bad memory like was said, but it might not be. Sometimes it's because we're too comfortable. If you think you deserve to die, then being happy is unacceptable. If home makes you happy, it might trigger suicidal ideation as a defense against the possibility of being happy.
     
  5. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    Dude I totally feel this way. my house is saturated with bad energy.
     
  6. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    why dont you suggest that you go somwhere else, like alittle holiday, a break truley away from it all when you get your home pass, just for a day or so? even if its just camping or somthing
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm Just the opposite, Home is my safe haven from this shit world..I've been in the hospital ten times..And couldn't wait to get back home where I lock myself in my bedroom.. I have no outside contact with the world except here on the forum.. I feel comfortable coming here and trying to help others from the experiences I have had from the past..I use alot of what my therapist has been teaching me also..
     
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