Home Sweet Home

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Godsdrummer, Aug 6, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Well the decision has been made. For better or worse, that's what the marriage vows say right?

    I am going home.

    I am excited, scared, happy and sad all at the same time.

    I have been seperated from my wife and kids for the past 11 months. Alcoholism and all that goes with that disease, did it's worst.

    But now, now I have a chance to be reunited with my family.

    The alternative is to continue the fight alone. To continue to struggle daily with my problems by myself, and to hope that a relationship with a woman 500 miles away might one day work.

    I have been married for 20 years. In October we will celebrate our 21st year.

    This chance, this opportunity, this Blessing, has had to come from God. And I will not screw this up.

    I realized that I still love my wife and have always loved my kids and even my poor old dog, and I don't want to live another day alone.

    And so....I am coming home.

    The source of my worst parts of my depression, and sucidal ideations and attempts, the source of the worst parts of my life, was the realization that I threw away my family.
    Now....we are going to again be whole.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am happy for you and i hope your addictions stay away so you can enjoy your family and have your dreams you deserve them
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Thank you Mary.

    Yep...cause if these addictions come back and worse than before...and I loose my family again, I will surely kill myself.

    But I know that God is with me. He is driving now. Hopefully with His grace, things will be cool.
  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Looking back on this post, I realized I may have trivialized my former g/f.

    I didnt mean to do that. We shared more in just under 2 months than some couples do during an entire marriage. And....we never even met each other!!!!

    I still love her and I always will. But in truth, it would have been very difficult to make it work, given the vast differences, and differences in lifestyles too.

    Add to that...the fact, that I still have feelings for my wife, and what father wouldnt want a chance to repair the damage he had done.

    Now that I have been home a couple of days, it just feels right.

    But I want her to know, if she ever reads this, that I am deeply sorry if I hurt her, and I want us to be friends, but I am too scared to communicate thru normal channels.

    She will always hold a place in my heart.
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