Home.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mortal Moon, Jan 28, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    I'm crying so hard and I can't stop.

    I'm lost and afraid in this horrible world.

    I can't even handle my own consciousness any more.

    I just want to return to death, whence I came. I'm a stranger in this life, a hopeless foreigner.

    I just want to go home.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are in this way I am glad you can reach out here to your friends. In a way this is home for me. You are not alone here as we all can relate. Please know that okay keep posting keep venting so you can release the pain. take care
     
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  4. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    I don't belong here. I shouldn't have been born. This has all been a terrible mistake.

    I just need to return to death, to fall asleep one last time and never awake again. Then this nightmare will be over at last.
     
  5. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    You're my twin.
     
  6. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Everyone wants me to "get better." I don't want to "get better." I want be back where I belong, that's all. I cry because this transition will be very difficult, and it means leaving behind the things I've grown attached to. But I have to do it. I want to do it. My soul begs me to put an end to this madness and make it right. This is my fate.
     
  7. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Why does it all have to hurt so much? Why even try? Was I born just so I could feel this way?

    It hurts so much, you guys. And when it doesn't hurt, it's only because I feel nothing at all- and that's even worse. Please help me. Please let me die.
     
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Despite how badly you want to die, I think you really want to live, but are obsessed with death. Why else would you still be here (other than guilt, or obligation)? I know things are hard for you right now, but the way I see it, you have been knocked down by depression and bad thoughts, and you have to struggle to get back up again. There have been many people like this before you, and there will be many more to come. You are in no way unique in this respect. Can't you appreciate the joys of life? Can't you enjoy love, and fun, and the value of living? If not, why?

    EDIT: I've had depression before, so I know what you are going through, and I wanted to die too. But it got better, and I changed. I'm sure you can too. Death won't fix your problems, it will only kill you (although that's what you seem to want), and devastate your family and friends. Please don't do that to them, or yourself. You are valuable.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2010
  9. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    Unfinished business. Lack of opportunity. Fear. Low energy. Emotional attachment. These are a few of the reasons.

    Not to the extent that it makes me want to keep living, no. And when I try, it just causes even more heartache.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.