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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by total eclipse, Aug 13, 2010.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i want to go home
    thats what he said
    god the words keep playing
    over and over in my head
    i want to go home
    funny these words
    are the same one she uses
    when i converse with her
    we just wanted a home
    where we were safe and warm
    but there is no home to go to
    thats why he did what he did
    i understand so clear now
    i am so there the words
    god take me there
    with you with him
    take me away from this pain
    take me home god
    take me now okay
    i don't want to stay
    not here anymore
    time to let go m
    let go of the rope
    peace now okay peace now
    let go i said go home.
    go home i want to go home

    what will be will be this is for you now you deserve everlasting peace you do. just want to say hell with all the dam professionals i hope you all go straight to hell and feel the pain that i have felt and others too there is no place in this world for me sorry for everything

    just pain okay don't worry abt me i am in just alot of pain inside i am trying so hard to stay here for her but the words won't stop i need peace god i need sleep selfish dam you m selfish yes i am so tired of this fight
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have sitting here all day last time she called was730am actually her dad called her she has not contacted us since then her father is driving around city trying desperately to find her. Anyone knowing my daughter heather tell her to call please her father and mother don't know what todo she has not had her meds either this is beyond pain this is abuse what she is doing all she had to do is call let us know she is alive god this is too hard andif she doesn't call soon what is the use of staying here anymore really
     
  3. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Violet, I am sorry you are suffering so much right now. I hope your daughter, Heather, calls you soon. Don't worry so much, since worry cannot do anything. She knows where she lives, so perhaps she'll come home soon. And her father, like you said is searching for her. God will watch over your daughter, you have to believe that.:hugtackles:
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Violet, I read your poem. Of course I could relate to it. I hope your daughter comes home very soon. Please know I will keep you and her in my prayers. I will ask that she come home very soon to you. Please post here when she does come home. I will be checking. Blessings Violet.
     
  5. Azmodius

    Azmodius Well-Known Member

    My thoughts are with you, I can't imagine what you're going through. Just know we're all here for you whenever.
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh Violet ...you don't deserve this...I'm so sorry..I hope you've now heard from your daughter and your worry has eased...
    :grouphug:
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just got back from hospital she is in emergancy police brought her in she was running infront of cars trying to get hit. on drugs alcohol i was not allowed to see her but i got her belongings she is in lock up tonight at least she is safe and i can sleep tonight i hope she stays stable i am tired maybe tonight iwill sleep Thank you for your prayers she is safe tonight thank you. ihope the fffff doctors do their job now and form her and get her help i doubt it though
    5 days now in emergancy in 3 weeks you think she is a harm to self?????? read the dam mental health act and do something sorry so tired thank you for all your prays i am sure they help keep her safe. now pray the get her help so she does get well okay every bit of prayers help thank you
     
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Violet, from what you describe, your anger with the system more than justified. I am saying a prayer that they will wake up and get this child what she needs. I heard recently something that really got to me. It was something like this : "Having a child is like having a piece of your heart outside of your body" At best thats not easy. Thank God shes safe tonight.
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Yes thank the police for getting her to the hospital and now I hope she gets some proper help...
    I hope you are able to get a good rest yourself Violet...My heart goes out to you...hug
     
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Violet, I'm glad they found her..I hope this time they keep her long term to get the help she needs.. It also sounds like she needs dual diagnosis because of the drugs and alcohol..My heart goes out to you because I know this has been along struggle for you.. Rest now!!
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hospital called my girl has been giving them nothing but hell. They haveher in 5 point restraints now sedated her with zyprexia doctor not there yet so i don't know if they will admitt her or not.
    i told nurse i beg the doctors to help her i did but they keep releasing her
    she has tried to kill herself while there with sheets and restraint straps she is on bare matress now and pillow
    what am i to do i want so much to run to her but if i do they will release her to me i told the nurse i cant do this okay i can't keep her safe that is their job to do please keep her safe please.
    i have to stay away even though it is killing me inside i have to walk away now and pray doctor admitts her into PICU god someone has to help her someone please

    pOlice help find her got her to hospital prays kept her safe if only the doctors would do their job and get her well
     
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Violet, this is heartbreaking, I know. I just said another prayer for her. And for you. I know you do not know me, But I would like to give you a safe hug. (((((((( violet )))))))))

    Praying that the doctors will be led to find the right help for Heather. That she will be diagnosed and treated. that she will be kept safe in good health care facility for as long as it takes to get her stabalized on the right medications, etc. This is the prayer I have said. I also have said a prayer for you to find as much support as possible to help you through this time. Blessings Violet.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thank you for your prayers for my daughter she is alll that matters now thankyou
     
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I think staying away from her is the right thing violet even though it would be so hard for you to do.....
    I hope you can stay strong....
    look after yourself *HUGS*
     
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have stayed away now for today but will see her tomorrow she is out of restraints in PICU for how long i don't know
    her psych doctor comes backtommorrow who knows what the hell he will do
    if he releases her i will ffff just go crazy i will but that is tommorrow not today i get to sleep another night without worry thank god for that
     
  16. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Violet prayers have been said . i do hope that the psychiatrist will understand the seriousness of this child's circumstances and will design an appropriate in patient treatment plan which will give her what she needs. I know you will be, if needed, begging him for that. I know you dont care about yorself right now. But I am praying also for your whole family at this time. Because the pain and fear and anger with the medical system must be tremendous. Safe hugs for you, (((((Violet))))))
     
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have nothing to do with anything anymore i am not talking to anyone not begging not pleading been there done that they DON"T CARE they put her on volunteer side haven't started her on meds or anything waiting for her to screw up run so they can discharge her they don't care and i don't care anymore either i am done i am beyone done i told them she cannot come home their is not home for her now she has to move out find place where they will help her i can't i haven't talk her in 6 days now and she doesn't care really if i end up in hospital down a clift she doesn't care she has no care for anyone buther i am tired lord i am tired lord please hear me please step in and get her in a program that will help her please god almighty oh please i have to step away i have to go away ther is no me left anymore
     
  18. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    a HUGE :hug: for you violet.....I'm sorry things are so overwhelming.....
    I think you are doing the right thing for you and your daughter..
    you have done everything within your power to help her....
    that's all you can do....
    please look after yourself..
    here if you need to talk...
    :arms:
     
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thank you everyone for all the support you have given me and for allowing me to speak freely without fear of being thrown away just want everyone to know i appreciate all the kindness and care here stay strong okay please
     
  20. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Violet you wrote:" i am tired lord please hear me please step in and get her in a program that will help her please god almighty oh please ..."

    I also pray for this. Help for your daughter. A good program that will finally begin to help her. And i pray for help for your worn and battered self. I AM praying for you Violet. For you both. Sending safe hugs ((((((((violet))))))))
     
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