homeless again...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Metallica*Melinda, Jan 15, 2008.

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  1. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    Hi, my name is Melinda, Im nineteen years old and am homeless yet again... I had been clean for about three months and now Im back to my old ways. I really am having a hard time. My doctor gave me a note to get welfare... and I just got some ID today. So basucally Im waiting for the money. I know I will spend it on booze and drugs... but I need the money to get food and stuff like that. I really thought I was doing well but I had to fuck it up. What happend was I just couldnt pay the rent because my dad got laid off from his work and he was the one supplying me with the money... and I was doing good, no drugs, I did drink a bit but other than that it was okay. Now, you're most likely wondering why I dont have a job. The reason is because Im very depressed and hear voices and see things that arent there... Im also bi-polar and very suicidal. So its really hard for me to carry on with a job when I see no reason to live. Not to mention I talk to myself and my employers dont like that. Anyway, like I said I should be getting on welfare soon, but I dont know how Im going to survive in the mean time. I have been living really risky, I get drunk everyday and get high everyday... I feel like shit. I dont want to live like this but its so hard to stop... I feel so alone and am thinking about suicide again. I miss my house and I miss my family... I cant do this anymore. I dont know what to do, I've tried to detox but its really hard...
    Anyway sorry to ramble on...
    Is there anyone else out here who is homeless?
  2. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I'm teetering on the brink, Melinda. I actually get checks from SSI every month.... when they started in 2005 they were $600+ /month.
    But I pay a deductable to keep my health isurance & I was hospitalized for some time so they've brought my check down to half of once it was. My family is helping to keep a roof over my head now. I eat the cheapest of food or little at all. I cannot afford to drink or smoke-but my family are smokers-they give me cigarrettes. I cannot even afford to get high, I have not found the right physician..... because my insurance fucking sucks.... and I have to take caffiene pills when ever I get a headache.

    Life is a headache!
  3. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    My family have decided that I'm not worth helping, and I've been given a warning that they are going to throw me out "for being a psycho", it's just a question of when. I have nowhere to go, and will be chucked out of college as we have to live at home (with parents) as part of the agreement. It's hard for me to get a job as I have trouble bothering with anything some days, and all the hostels around here are xian, which isn't much use for me.

    How true :tongue:
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