Homeless and Cutting

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by DawsonJ, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. DawsonJ

    DawsonJ Well-Known Member

    As I lie in my car
    Cutting and bleeding,
    I come to envy
    Those who are dreaming.
    A dream, a goal,
    Something to live for.
    What value it would be
    To have something
    To reach for.
    What a fantasy it is
    To have dreams,
    To have plans.
    Such delusions escape me,
    Such fantasies have been canned..
    What a dream, what a dream.
    Nothing is real.
    If only I understood
    What real people feel.
    As for me, there is pain.
    As for me, there are tears.
    Life is no dream.
    I've nothing but fears.
    Such a heart, broken and lost.
    Nothing seems to be worth
    Such a terrible cost.
    Such a dream,
    Such a pain.
    How is it my life
    Is always in vain?
    And all that I know
    Has gone down the drain.

    As Restless Heart sang:
    "The road I have traveled on is paved with good intentions.
    It's litered with broken dreams that never quite came true."
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    such a heart retching poem i am sorry you are alone with your pain. Why not reach out go to hospital get some help for you okay you don't deserve this suffering you deserve to heal to feel you matter. Please go get some help okay try.
  3. DawsonJ

    DawsonJ Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Violet. I'm actually on a med right now for manic depression/seizures through a BHC, but I haven't had a stable place to stay since 2002. Sometimes I have to be alone because I'm in too bad a mood, hence this poem. I cut myself and slept in my car overnight because I didn't fulfill one of my scheduled duties and felt too guilty to handle it. I'm in the process of getting rid of some of my stuff so I'll be able to move it all in one carload next time things go wrong and I have to move. Anyway...

    I appreciate your concern and thank you for not picking on my simple poem.
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