Homesick

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by just_me_again, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    I'm feeling homesick again. It's been a couple weeks since school started and I've really wished for nothing more than going home. I act sickeningly cheerful for everyone else, as per usual. I don't think anyone really knows exactly how much I want to go home. I don't pretend it's not there. I'll mention it in passing, but the fact that I can't go home until Christmas is weighing down on me hard as many people I go to school with go home for Labor Day weekend because they live closer. I don't know what I'll be doing this weekend. Probably working/studying/trying to find something other to do than cry in my dorm like I am now.

    I want my aunt, uncle, and my cousin. I want my dogs and my cat. I never wanted to be here in the first place. My classes are stupidly easy, my job doesn't take up enough time, and I haven't found any club activities I really want to do. I never really thought I'd get this far. I was always so in the middle of struggling that I never thought I'd actually see college. Now I'm here and I don't want to be but I don't see any alternative. I can't go home. I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes if I did. I just don't know what to do other than continue going on like this. I should call for that psychiatrist appointment. I should call my aunt. I should do something but I feel paralyzed.
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi just_me_again, you are young and you cannot carry this deep burden feeling you carry everyday. You need to seek help from a school counsellor. If you are missing home, you need to change the environment or take a year out. The feeling will continue until you speak to so done. I strongly suggest that you speak to your aunts and express your true feeling. If she is an understanding lady, then she will tell you come home and around the ones your love. There is no point suffering on a daily basis if you are not happy. Your happiness and inner well-being are more important.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I think unknown11 hit he spot completely by saying ''take a year out''. Do you think that would help you? I was only on holiday in london a few weeks back and I was feeling homesick so cannot imagine how you are coping. Speaking to whatever counsellor is at the school might help too. What about friends, do they comfort you a bit? Fair play to you for trying to better yourself with college.Maybe call your aunt and cousins on the phone? I really hope you start to see the light soon (hugs)
     
  4. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    I can't come home. I can't fail. I can't be a failure like my parents but it seems like all I do is fail. I ended up spending the weekend with my sister and my grandparents and all I got reminded of was how my sister's managed to get past what I currently can't. I can't afford to be a fuck up and I don't want to be a burden anymore but that's all I am. I wish I could afford going to school near home instead of being almost twelve hours away but it didn't work out that way. I have a lot of friends here because I am very social but I don't really know any of them well enough to share this with. It seems like all I'm good at is talking and writing. I feel like I trick people into thinking I'm normal when all I want to do is explode. I'm not good at life and everyone knows I'm useless without a degree. I can't afford to fuck up anymore than I already have.
     
  5. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Iam sorry, I completely disagree with the 'take a year out' advice. A LOT of my friends were horribly homesick at college for a few weeks - it is completely normal so stop beating yourself up about it. You are not going to fuck up - and it does get better, but you have to stick it out until it feels like home. Putting on a face seems like it is lying to people but I guarantee that almost everyone is doing it and feeling the same as you feel right now. Being away from home for the first time is really hard - but two weeks isn't enough time to get past it. Try to throw yourself into uni life and talk to people and the feeling will go away. Don't give up and don't take a year out - that isn't going to help - you will just be in the same position in a year. Homesick only goes away by staying in a place and making it home.
     
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Being homesick is not something wrong with you- it means something is "right" with you. It would be odd to be gone a long way for a few weeks now and not be missing the people and things you love. The simple truth is that more people are feeling the same way as you (and not talking about it like you) than not.

    It does get better and easier quickly. You have hit upon the real problem- you have not found new interests and things to fill your time with so have too much time to think and "miss" home. As you get busier it will get better and you will have learned how to deal with something that will occur many times in most peoples lives- going to someplace new and different, dealing with being alone and you will know you can make it through it and feel stronger for it. Very seldom is it the right thing to do to give up when things are difficult. Stay the course and feel better about yourself for it. It is already hard enough to get ahead and keep up in the world to not take advantage of opportunities and all the hard work it took for you to get to Uni to start with .. I believe in you and that you can make it.
     
  7. just_me_again

    just_me_again Active Member

    I am so scared of not doing things right. I screw up enough as it is. I just have trouble seeing the point in all of this.