Depressed most of my life. Been on treatment for 40 years (since I was 15). I am twice widowed and now in a problematic marriage. Raped when I was 30. On 5 medications for depression and anxiety and many others for all of me physical illnesses. Hospitalized 3 times in 5 years for 7 weeks. Received no benefit from 36 ECT treatments. On disability. Which brings me to now. I've been suicidal for 5 years. I suffer from MDD, GAD, and Social Anxiety. I've not been more depressed than now.