honest as it gets.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by patodemuerte, Nov 14, 2007.

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  1. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    well.... the thing is.... i am without a doubt certain that my depression is not due to a chemical imbalance. It is purely my F**cked up mind driving me mad. I suppose doctors would consider me severely delusional now, when analyzing my thoughts on living and life.

    Simply...I dont get life. I dont see why everyone chooses to live. I doubt the realness of people. I see myself breaking down one day screaming about everyone not being real, about everyone being a preset entity. I fear that is what they will lock me up for in the end.

    Perhaps that is what is best, as the mass murder thoughts seem to be subconsciously taking over, its all leading up to that moment. Perhaps they should lock me up before I cant be stopped. Perhaps i should just save everyone the trouble and off myself.

    If i were to be seriously considering these things, would it not be better to rid the world of my future atrocities, knowing for sure that I would never appreciate life and being completely certain that i am too far gone for "effective treatment"? wouldn't that make sense?
     
  2. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    Depression, without a doubt, is caused by a number of factors, which of these are the cause for your pain cannot be entirely certain.

    Any mental illness, emotional trauma etc sends its victim into a spiraling pit. People are here to help you, people like you and myself are the reason why others become doctors and psychs: to give them a second chance at life and achieve more than their perceptions and find a way to make the pain just piss off. People like those on this forum, yourself included, are the reason i want to continue in a world i myself feel misplaced and alone in, and help them through the pain and troubles of their lives.

    I know its hard, but take each day at a time. Acknowledge your past grievances but they shouldnt consume you.
    You have a place in this world, even though it might not seem that way. All of us do. Of course there are arseholes out there that make you feel like shit, your mind is making you feel like it too. But look after you.

    Take a hand up, theres nothing shameful in that. Youre mind is unwell, let it heal and get better. It takes a hell of a long time. But there are things you can do to make the time less unbearable.

    Try finding the little things in life that make you feel better. A little beacon of hope still exists in you, otherwise you would not have made this post..

    Sorry for rambling too much and talking crap and if nothing i have said helps you.

    :hug:
     
  3. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    you obviously missed the point in that. i didnt come here for pointless lectures or things that you feel need to be said.

    I've heard it before, didn't matter then and still doesn't.
    I just want an honest answer, nothing sugar coated.
    No one to tell me that life is worth living because everyone else chooses to. What is the point? I mean really.....What is so great about living these pointless lives with pointless people and programmed answers as if this all is in any way significant. We as "humans" are nothing. what is the point?
     
  4. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    I gave you my honest opinion. if you cant accept that, then dont bother responding.

    That is your opinion, ive had mine
     
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