honest to god

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Sep 5, 2014.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    im fricking annoyed. no matter how hard i fucking try people still ignore me. yes i have made mistakes. yes i regret and have changed but fucking hell dont keep it against me forever. people are just fucking plain selfish. im always the one that has to reach out first. no one ever contacts me first. i aint rihanna, i don't love the way you lie.

    as for that so called sister of mine-she can rot in hell. its all me me fucking me with her.

    I have turned out to be a kind good hearted person and no one can take that away from me, so it's their loss really.
  2. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    You have always been kind to me and you are right. You have turned to be a phenomenal, knowledgeable person who dedicates time to helping others. No one can take that and ignore all the toxicity that is trying to break you down.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you so much, that means a lot. You are a beautiful person :)
  4. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    "I have turned out to be a kind good hearted person and no one can take that away from me, so it's their loss really."

  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Ooh, I know that feeling all too well. I make one mistake, they hold it against me forever. But they can do things all the time and that's fine. I'm sorry that no one contacts you first, that happens to me a lot and I know that's a lonely feeling. If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to message me :)
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yeah,it is such a horrible feeling. Thank you both. You are all lovely people, thanks again and if any of you need to talk im here.
  7. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Likewise - if you need to talk :p

    My li'l Irish lucky charm :p
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thanks Gary :hug:

    To be honest- I just will keep to myself IRL except for people that I know will treat me with respect....the others aren't worth time worrying about. Life is all about choice, you can choose to do the right or wrong thing, talk to the right or wrong people, say the right or wrong thing, think the right or wrong thing...think you get what I mean lol

    But at the same time it can be upsetting when you do care for someone and they don't treat you with that care back. Especially people you have grown up with and there isn't a big age gap, when you thought they would always be there for you (example being my sister) As as the saying goes you can choose your friends but not your family. I guess...life goes on and it's much too short to let them get to you. She isn't laying around worrying about me so I am not going to worry about her either.
  9. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I prefer the quote "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves".

    Select the wrong group of friends - and they can wear you down faster than any family issues do.


    I've worried too much about too much that I shouldn't do - though probably not to the extent of others (ie, those known to be dx with anxiety).
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Having a very bad day today. Was in extreme pain-sat on the window in the bathroom to try and just calm down and was smoking-my sister that I HATE came in and said she was hanging her clothes in the bathroom to prevent clothes being smelt of smoke. I said, are your clothes more important than my pain? She said...oh go and fucking kill yourself already, you're useless and everyone hates you and everyones sick of you laying in your room in pain and crying.

    I'm crying bad right now. Even though I hate the girl, somehow she still manages to get to me. Thinks she is gods greatest gift cos shes doing her masters in law. She gets treated much better than me too. Tying to calm myself right now. Deep breathing,valium and trying to forget her beyond cruel words.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Today is slowly getting better,had a long chat with my brother and he's calmed me down a lot. I have made an appointment to get my hair done for 2.30 :) Hmmmm...feeling so much better, pain had subsided, anxiety is calm and feeling good. But I hate the fact that it is chemicals that have to make me feel good :(

    Also, I realize I cannot control what others actions are or say or do, I can only control mine so I am not going to lower to her standards :) My psychologist thinks she(sister) is jealous of the attention I get because of my illnesses, I'm unsure about that tbh.
  12. Sain

    Sain Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having a bad go Petal. Your sister sounds a lot like my mum. I had to cut her out of my life for my own sanity. I remember she once said to me that I should go hang myself, on the phone, while I was in a deep depression. I don't need that abuse in my life, and it took me 40 years to realize it. I am not saying that is what you should do. I am just relaying my experience to you. I hope that you feel better soon. Hugs.
  13. Petal just ignore your sister. :hug: stay safe and more hugs to you.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you both. Yeah, I do agree that you should cut people out of your life if they are really being an ass and constantly upsetting you. For now, we are not speaking at all. But I do believe that people esp in their young 20's can change and realize life isn't all me me me. So yeah hopefully in time she will change and be a nice person.

    Thank you both and thanks for the hugs :)