I can't be honest about this one thing. Its not possible. But its there, it keeps returning and raising its ugly head. I've never spoken about it. I don't think I can. Its stuck within me. I know it affected me in many ways, perhaps the most disturbing to me as an adult is remembering how I acted out when young. And, of course, no one knows what I did. These memories live on and fester. It physically sickens and angers me at the same time. I'd never dare to confront the person who engaged me. I feel at fault, obviously. And that's as honest about all of this as I can be. Theres no way to let it out, ever, other than like this. In code and non specifics.