honesty

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by MoAnamCara, Jan 26, 2014.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I can't be honest about this one thing. Its not possible. But its there, it keeps returning and raising its ugly head. I've never spoken about it. I don't think I can. Its stuck within me. I know it affected me in many ways, perhaps the most disturbing to me as an adult is remembering how I acted out when young. And, of course, no one knows what I did. These memories live on and fester. It physically sickens and angers me at the same time. I'd never dare to confront the person who engaged me. I feel at fault, obviously. And that's as honest about all of this as I can be. Theres no way to let it out, ever, other than like this. In code and non specifics.
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry for what happened to you.
     
  3. LostInMyDaydreams

    LostInMyDaydreams Well-Known Member

    It's not your fault, I know I keep telling myself the same thing over and over, that it was all my fault but it's not. I'm sorry you had to go through this. You're safe now and away from this person whoever hurt you in any way. Sending lots of hugs & beautiful things your way.

    :flowerhearts::butterfly5::pinkheart::fireworks::irishdoll::hug::hug::hug::flypig::rainbow:​
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you both.

    I want out. :(
     
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling, Mo... and I have no answers for you. I'm sorry though that you feel this way, and that you experienced anything that could be in any way associated with this specific part of the forums.... I've been there, so I understand the pain... its still here with me too. I'm beginning to think that pain never goes away... that its kinda like death of a loved one, you learn to cope, to live with it.... but its never "gone" . Maybe I'm wrong... I hope I am. I hope you find a better way ... and are able to convince yourself that you are not the one to blame nor are you any of the terrible things people may have said about you in your lifetime.... I hope you find some way of doing those things. Anyway, just know I wish all the best for you.... take care.
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you demuredawn. :hug: I'm sorry you understand.
     
  7. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    ty Mo... and yw, sorry i cannot offer more
     
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