Iv never been completely honest with anyone in my life? and i mean telling them what makes me want to 2 die...............i think its probably the first step to realisin why i hate everyone so much and i why i wish i wouldnt wake up in the morning..
Sittin at a computer screen is soo much easier...and so i want to be completely honest with people.......even if its not my real friends, family..im hoping it helps
5yrs ago, my gran died....and my mum was quickly diagnosed with depression..my dad couldnt cope with it and he started gambling...hes now in debts up to £50,000...(hes also recently been diagnosed with depression)..
My parents have never had a good marriage...it was always filled with shoutiing, fighting, whilst i cried myself to sleep....i started self harming at 13....and have ever since whenever i feel i need to.
I attempted suicide about 6 months ago..and failed ........
About 5 months ago my mum was diagnosed with cancer and told she had a few months to live. 2 weeks later my house burned down in a fire....3 months later my dads depression got worse......and he had to take time off work (to look after my mum and himself)...............hes now been sacked from his job...........
To top it off, my sister has moved out and i dont c her for months on end..all she cares about is her husband..iv never been close to my dad....i dont c him as a relative......and a few weeks ago..my 2 closest friends betrayed me and made me despise them...............................i feel like i have no1 and its all my fault....maybe i deserve this?.........
My only proper friend is chris.....
.....but hes suicidial also.....so i suppose thats not a good friendship..im scared if we'r out one night, alone, drinkin? maybe we would do something stupid
NO one needs to reply i just wanted to be HONEST for once.....completely honest
Sittin at a computer screen is soo much easier...and so i want to be completely honest with people.......even if its not my real friends, family..im hoping it helps
5yrs ago, my gran died....and my mum was quickly diagnosed with depression..my dad couldnt cope with it and he started gambling...hes now in debts up to £50,000...(hes also recently been diagnosed with depression)..
My parents have never had a good marriage...it was always filled with shoutiing, fighting, whilst i cried myself to sleep....i started self harming at 13....and have ever since whenever i feel i need to.
I attempted suicide about 6 months ago..and failed
........About 5 months ago my mum was diagnosed with cancer and told she had a few months to live. 2 weeks later my house burned down in a fire....3 months later my dads depression got worse......and he had to take time off work (to look after my mum and himself)...............hes now been sacked from his job...........
To top it off, my sister has moved out and i dont c her for months on end..all she cares about is her husband..iv never been close to my dad....i dont c him as a relative......and a few weeks ago..my 2 closest friends betrayed me and made me despise them.........
......................i feel like i have no1 and its all my fault....maybe i deserve this?.........My only proper friend is chris.....
.....but hes suicidial also.....so i suppose thats not a good friendship..im scared if we'r out one night, alone, drinkin? maybe we would do something stupid NO one needs to reply
i just wanted to be HONEST for once.....completely honest 
