Honesty

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Krem, Dec 31, 2010.

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  1. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    I don't get people. I really don't. If I make, or do, something, then I want to honestly know if I did it well. If I did it well, fantastic. If I didn't, then I must improve, and thus I would ask how I could improve. If everyone says "It was great!", no matter how they felt, then I would not be able to improve, and they would get the same quality every time. Thus, I am honest; when given food, and asked for an opinion, I will give it, good or bad. However.. this is somehow considered rude. Nevermind that my taste might be different from someone else's, or that I was asked, or that it's a sign of respect to be honest, or that I'm helping the person to improve, actually saying that you don't like it? That's just terribly rude.

    So, my question; should we give our honest opinions (When asked), and help each other improve the quality of our work until it's good, if not great, or should we always give the same "It's good" reply, regardless of how it was, not giving the person the chance to improve?
     
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Depends on the circumstance.

    If I'm in another country and having a dinner prepared for me by elders who are hosting me and I'm familiar with their cultural customs, if I'm asked how I like the food, of course it would be a display of disrespect to say "yuck! I think it's terrible!" because even though that would be exercising honesty, it would be unwise. Sometimes, wisdom means finding ways around the absolute truth without lying, without damaging your own integrity and without being inconsiderate to your host. So, instead, I would simply say "I'm satisfied with it. It's a really interesting dish, a different taste than what I'm used to. Thank you very much for this meal."

    But generally, when it has to do with giving constructive criticism of another person, yes, honesty works well when done tactfully and at the appropriate place and time. I think it is best to give honest opinions, but to also be conscious of the circumstance and be wise about how that honesty is executed.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2010
  3. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    I always go with an honest opinion, it often makes me look rude but i agree with you when you say how lying will cause stagnation of skills/thoughts etc.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i think positive with some negative criticism is appropriate you say what is good and what you think needs to improve that way the person can choose weather to take the input in or not.
     
  5. jonsmith01595

    jonsmith01595 New Member

    The Optimiser I heard on the radio

    I was at my guitar class a couple of nights ago. I have been taking these lessons to get better at playing the guitar. After my class on that night I went home and checked out the website that I had heard about over the radio while driving home. I had started a website a few months back and I wanted to get more to people look at my website. The commercial that I had heard over the radio was about PingBack Optimiser and how it helps individuals get more people to visits their websites. I wanted more traffic to my website too.
     
  6. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    Re: The Optimiser I heard on the radio

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  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue - Billy Joel.

    :bubble:
     
  8. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    I hate lies of omission and intellectual dishonesty, which in politics, unfortunately is common place.
     
  9. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I too think that honesty is important and more beneficial, but dishonesty can have it's place too. Sure, if you give somebody constructive criticism they have more info on how they can improve, but they'll need a bit of confidence as well. I obviously don't know how confident people other than me are, but I'd imagine that if someone was trying something new, cooking for example, they'd probably become less motivated if a friend's/family member's/stranger's opinion of it was a politely worded "it was bad".
     
  10. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Honesty is best handled and used with same care one would attribute towards nitroglycerine.
    It can sure as heck be just as destructive if used wrongly.

    You have to judge whether you are being honest simply to make yourself better or to help the receiver of your frank opinions.
     
  11. chjones21

    chjones21 Well-Known Member

    I don't get people. I really don't. If I make, or do, something, then I want to honestly know if I did it well.

    Well at least you are honest about not getting people. Honestly speaking (!?) - people ARE different. So they are not all the same as you, and they will not react the same way as you to a given situation. If you were told, after slaving over a hot stove, that your food was crap .... that would motivate you to do better. (Good for you, that is a really handy trait, as it goes, I think).

    Another person however, could find it upsetting (as you seem to have found out) - if you WERE good with people, you would probably be able to judge which was which... but you are NOT good with people so you are probably best to err on the side of caution with your honesty in situations like that.

    A person can be very willing to hear it, but it depends how it is phrased --- a very good friend could laugh out loud and make a joke of it (generally what happens to me, I am a terrible cook) and they could both laugh at her/his "known" rubbish ability with food...

    Another person could say to be polite, "It's lovely" and that same rubbish cook will then themselves 'fess up - saying "no, that's sweet of you but it is disgusting, you don't have to eat it - I have made a complete hash of it, everything is burnt and it tastes of charcoal. I really hoped this time it would work but it is a total disaster!" - at which point the other one can somewhat agree whilst also making positive comments along the lines of but "it looked great" - or but "it was almost there, next time I am sure it will be fantastic..." etc. which I, as a bad cook, find a nice response.

    I think an acknowledgment, at least, of the effort put in goes a long way for me (as a bad cook) and not being mean about it but either: funny and honest or encouraging and honest. I wouldn't react badly to straight honest but it would be a bit de-motivating for me (in the way that it would be motivating for you).

    People are odd! :)
     
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