I'm sitting here alone <mod edit- methods>. I'm completely alone. I've lost all hope. I've been rejected my whole life. When I was a girl, my mother lamented that she wanted to abort me but couldn't scrape up the money in time--she was married to my father when she got pregnant. She let my stepdad rape and torture me for years. They both got away with it. When I grew up, I tried to be a good mother to my children. However, my youngest just moved out without even saying goodbye, and I thought we had a close relationship. I feel so worthless. I have no faith, no hope, and no reason to endure. Everyone will be shocked because they see me as someone who is always happy and smiling. The only thing I'm afraid of is that I won't overdose enough to actually die. What should I do?