hope it ends soon

It's at the point were all I can think is how to end it, past few days I'm smiling alittle when I think of the end, thats the only thing and sleep I enjoy. Starting to experiment, love it, being having pains, a lump and blood past few months, hoping it's the begaining of the ending, like got something that ill end me fuck going to the doctor, haven't gone for years, I prey, I prey it's over soon.

 

What's been happening to make you feel so bad lately?

What kind of pains have you been having? Please go to doctor and get it checked out; we'd hate to lose you.

I hope you begin to feel better.

 

well we don't hope that WE hope you get in and get some help You do not know what the future will bring you If you leave getting help you may regret it later so get help now okay

 

Over it, all I do is think how to end it. Why do people always think its about a issue or that you need help, very simple, it's boring, it's meanless, it's fake, it's worthless and I want out, by god I'm getting closer and closer to thinking = action.

 

Fuck this is the worst ever, 6am, sleep now doesn't do it for me no more, thats bout it, really thinking for ending it, the pain, fuck this don't now next few days, can't, cant do this no many:cry:ope::rip: Just did do not revive slip, no way in fuck I'm gettin revived

 

Hello kreative1,

I want you to do two deep breaths, i want you to breath in from your nose, count to 10 and breath out.

I fully understand that you feel your life boring, meaningless - i've passed through these thoughts and can understand how intense they can be.

I understand that you are currently feeling pain being unbearable, I understand that you can't handle it, I know what this pain is and how hard this pain is for you.

I want you to consider the following paragraph:

Suicide is not the solution, you may think that by suiciding you will be relieved from pain, relief is a feeling and you need to be alive in order to be able to feel. You will not feel this relief once you take your life.

 

it's been like this for over 10 years, been fighting for my life every day, no fight left, no nothing left, going zero to nothing, for once I'm going to do something for myself, end this and rest, look after urself.

 

Hello kreative1,

By taking your life you will not be able to enjoy the feeling of you fighting and being the winner at the end. You have been fighting for 10 years, this is very positive to me - you will be the winner of this fight.

An important thing to remember is that whatever happened it can be dealt with. It might sound easy to say and difficult to get it done, I understand this feeling but believe me it's not as hard as you think it is.

 

Hi kreative1,

I like your name!

May I ask: Can you know that your thoughts are absolutely true?

How can suicide be something you do “for” yourself? Does this even make sense?

Who/what is yourself then? We are not our thoughts. We are the awareness that is aware of the thoughts. Can you see this? The awareness may leave the body by physical death, but how can you know that suicide is the choice of the soul (awareness in non-physical form)? As far as I know, no soul would make that choice…(I am glad I did not “end it” when I had a serious suicide contemplation years ago. I do not fear death, neither do I fear life.)

I’m not asking you to believe what I say. Maybe you can slow down and give yourself some time looking into this? We can see what is really true when our mind is quiet. We human beings have the power to go beyond the mind. I’m not saying it is easy, but it is possible…

I’m sorry it’s extremely difficult for you now…and hope you find the strength…how you feel now will pass…

With loving wishes

 

This isn't about a bad day, nor is it about issues or problems. I don't want to live, I don't want to be involved in this world nor with people, over it, next few day will be interesting and hopefully the last as the thinking is really in high drive now. Maybe I should be posting in the depressed section on the thread "people don't understand".

 

I'd like to help you more, do you think you can explain what brought you here? what brought to want to suicide basically.

 

So are you your mind? Do you understand yourself? What is it really about after all?

The mind may not be thinking that it wants you to live, but thinking is not knowing. Is it possible that the mind is confused in a way and fears that you would somehow find out and KNOW that you DO want to live?

Do you know where you are going by leaving this world? Can the mind tell you that?

You know you have the potential to know all the answers...but just not through the mind...only when the mind is quiet...

May you have the courage to live!

 

deleted email accounts, fucked the mobile off, don't want any1 to call nor me call any1, closing me bank account soon, walking out of work, and marching of to my end, beyond crisis point and way beyond help, the oxygen Thief is leaving this hell.