Hopeful and sad, all at the same time.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pisces1, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    If I had one wish it would be to be able to live one month pain free. To just have these feeling dissappear so I could get the things done I need to. I wake up everyday not knowing how I am going to feel. Some days are great and others like today, the emotional pain just wipes me out. I met with a new psychologist today who has helped women who have gone through what I am. She talked me into giving her my stash of meds. To be honest, it was a very hard thing to do. For whatever reason it was comforting to have them. They were my way out. She made me promise to turn them in by the end of the day. After I dropped them of I did feel a sense of relief. She was nice enough to call me herself and thanked me for doing so and told me I could call her anytime. Hopefully I will get to continue to see her. Seems like every time I find a good doc something goess wrong. Lack of insurance or money to go back. I am also getting a new therapist who helps women like me. I just need a break. Something to go right. Feeling so very sad tonight and tired . My future seems bleak at this point but I will keep trying.
  2. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    It's good to see you back again pisces, i hope you get better and things turn around for the better for you.
  3. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Auerbach... Thank you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 19, 2014
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi to you i am so happy you found a caring doctor and therapist hun and let hope this is a new start of healing for you Hugs
  5. JMG

    JMG Well-Known Member

    Hey pisces I dunno if it will give any comfort to you at all to read this but I can SO relate to a lot of what you said in terms of when you wake up every day and not knowing how you are going to feel, it is very much like that for me too. The ups and downs part of life has been a constant challenge for me to deal with esp. since whichever one it is seems almost always to be in such an extreme. It definitely gets very tiring for me. I have also had a lot of counselling from a lot of diff. counsellors over the years.

    The things that help me be able to continue on each day are remembering all the good things in life and the things I love the most like animals n how cute, sweet n innocent they are and doing whatever I can to just focus on good and positive things. I know it is easier said than done at times but for the last few years I have just had to take things 1 day at at time. I don't know whether I'm improving that much as it is hard to have much perspective on myself but I hope for the best every day and hope also that one day things will become clearer. Even if they don't and even if there maybe isn't even much of a reason for why things happen as they do (sure hope that ISN'T the case of course! lol) I will always strive to do what I can to accept that I may never know what the answer to that mystery of life is.

    My future looks pretty bleak as well and maybe this sounds odd to say but I am comforted to know that I am at least not alone in feeling that way about it. I highly doubt it will ever change for me because of how complicated a lot of my probs. are but I think for most people they have a very high chance of turning that around.

    Well anyway just one more thing for now then I guess since this is a pretty long post now lol, if you ever want and/or need someone to talk to please feel free to add me as a friend and/or send me a PM, I'll reply as soon as I see it.

    Good luck with your new psychologist and therapist I am wishing the best for you :)

    *Hugs* xxxx
  6. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    JMG....Thank You. I hope the new doc and therapist can help me too, because honestly this will be the last time i try. Just too many things wrong I cannot ever see being fixed. Sorry I do not have anything positive to say. I hope things get better for you.