hopeless again!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by dying2die, May 24, 2007.

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  1. dying2die

    dying2die Well-Known Member

    I've been depressed for a while, so i started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for meds. i saw them both for about three months, but after my last appointment with my therapist, i felt like she really had no idea how i was feeling, or like she didn't take me seriously. as for my shrink, she pretty much told me she didn't have anymore options(something i've heard all too many times) so i cancelled the rest of my appointments. while i was seeing them that was my only hope for actually being happy again, but now that i quit i feel so hopeless. i've tried like a bazillion meds(as i was depressed all through my teenage years), e.c.t. and nothing has seemed to do the trick.

    i feel like i'm at the end of my rope. i think about suicide everyday and have a plan made out... but there is one thing that holds me back... my daughter. i love her to death, and i know that i put her at huge risk for depression and suicide, if i commit suicide. yet everyday that i am alive i feel like i hurt her. i'm always crabby and have a very little patients. i feel like i am always yelling at her. i just can't deal with being a mother right now. i can barely take care of myself muchless a child. i feel like at least if it leave now, my husband will have time to remarry and my daughter will only have a vauge memory of me. my husband may just divorce me before i get to it though. i don't know how he can deal with me everyday, either i am in bed crying, yelling and being insanely crabby, or drinking. i wish he would leave me, then i could just "check out", but he's way too good of a guy. i don't really think that he would leave me. i just can't be here anymore, there really is no hope for me to feel better. i'm just lost and alone and empty!
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    aww hun, that sounds awful :arms: im sorry your help wasnt much help at all :(

    I really dont know what to say, as ive not expierenced or heard much about this. but im SURE your daughter isnt hurt by the way you are. She prob understands that you are going through hard times! (if youve not told her, she can prob see the change in your behaviour)
    What about talking to your husband about the way you feel?

    Or what about taking up a new hobbie, on your own or as a family, something to make you come together for a while. And to keep your mind off it all.

    thinking of you :hug:
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