I am so unhappy. Some days I can make it, but others, like yesterday, are absolute torture. I am married but I feel so lonely. I have two children but I feel that my husband plays the "good guy." My husband is also the one to do the laundry and dishes... I have it really good, to be honest. I am just extremely depressed. I have bipolar disorder and a few years ago was hospitalized (I take medication regularly now). I think I should go in again but it's really expensive. But I just want to cry all the time. I can't sleep. I know I am not a good person. I don't think I deserve to be on this earth anymore and honestly don't want to be. I work full-time but feel so distracted and I am exhausted. It is a new job (been there 3 months) and the hours are terrible. My husband is able to spend more time with our kids than I can. What difference would it make if I weren't here anymore? Would anyone care? Would my husband be relieved?