I had a plan. I had goals in life. I did everything I was supposed to do. I'm an honest and good nature person who volunteered to help others, who gave when I could.... who did everything I had always been taught I should. In life though...it didn't get me very far. My contract ends Dec 31st. I've had horrible sleep the past month worrying over it and today the new company that won the contract gave me their offer. 20k pay cut. $20,000 less than what I was making last year. That's the income of a whole different person. They gutted my income, they gutted my life and pulled out the last few strands I had left. I'm going to lose my house. I'm going to lose everything. I'm going to have to move back in with my mother at an age I should be secure and self-sufficient. Why? Because the government is stupid and wrote the contract up wrong so the company lowballed bid it and the government gave it to them because they were like "Oh look! Company X says they can save us money!" not realizing all the people they hurt in the process. Themselves and the people who have bent over backwards going above and beyond to make them happy and everything to work out. I can't even cry anymore I don't even care. I've already cancelled my Christmas.... I can't even afford food. I have $7 to last me until the end of the year and the only thing I have that's edible in my house are 2 packages of ramen noodles, 1 box of mac & cheese, 2 cans of soup and some mayonase. I've already gone threw everything I had that was frozen...all the stuff folks had gifted me over the past two horrible months.... Most people advance in their careers through bounds of small raises. I've gone downhill the past few jobs and it just keeps getting worse. Folks say there'll be a tomorrow. That things will get better. Well... I'm still waiting. A year has gone by and I have suffered.... I can't even afford to go to the doctor despite being in constant pain and I don't even care anymore. Maybe I can give someone else a Merry Christmas. You see I'm an organ doner...maybe I could save a few lives. I can't take drugs because that'll hurt the organs and <mod edit: *sparkle*: methods> I used to say I was too strong to even think these things but I guess it's true.... a person can only take so much pain.