I don't know what to do anymore, or where else to go. My social anxiety has gotten so severe that I don't feel human most of the time. I'm 24 years old and I live with my parents, I feel like a child. I have too much anxiety to learn to drive, I can't get a real job, I lost all of my friends from high school because I couldn't keep in touch with them. Making phone calls terrifies me, I don't think I've made a phone call in five years. Sometimes I don't leave the house for weeks at a time, I've literally become a prisoner in my own home. I have no one to push me, my parents seem to like me being this way and it's just made my disorder that much worse. I've let it completely ruin my life. I really can't afford therapy, and I don't want to depend on medication. I've been trying to read self-help books and taking vitamin supplements that I ordered online but it's like every time I feel better for a few days the depression just comes back stronger than before. It's like reality came crashing down on me these past couple months, I had avoided dealing with the reality of my situation effectively for a long time and most of the emotions associated with it...but now, there's just raw emotion and I feel so utterly alone, I am constantly crying or feeling like I'm going to if anyone says the slightest thing to upset me. I don't know how to keep going anymore. Suicide has become like a fantasy for me, I think about it constantly but I know I can't hurt my family like that, but I think all the time if anything happened to my parents that I would do it without hesitation, and that knowledge terrifies me. Even now, I feel like the fear of hurting them is becoming less and less as the depression is taking me over. I just don't know what to do anymore, and I need to know there are people out there who can relate to what I'm going through. I feel so alone in this.