I feel stupid writing this down because when I think about what I am going to write it all seems so stupid to me. I work with my father over a year ago the business was struggling and I took a pay cut to keep the business going it was about 75% of what I earned. I had been living with my long term girlfriend 12 years we had been together, because I was earning less my girlfriend who's a nurse took more shifts, I became depressed, run down, and took to self harm because I felt so worthless not being able to support her. We argued and in the end I split up with her because I could see what I was doing to her, I'll never forget that look in her eyes, she wanted to help me but I felt like I would drag her down. She said that she would not move on, I had to move back home, I now spend most of my time in a bedroom, I have very few friends three to be truthful and I don't get to see them often. It took my ex a little over three weeks to find someone else and move on, I've tried to date but because I live at home and have no money, I feel I have nothing to offer. I am happy that my ex has found someone and is happy the trouble is I made the decision to leave because I thought it was the best thing to do, but the truth is I am lonely, I have nothing, nothing to offer anyone, the more time that passed the lonelier I get. I never thought doing what I thought was right and it was because she is happy that so much sadness would come from it. Life seems so hopeless and pointless, why I bother I don't know work 40 - 50 hours a week for hardly any money, stay in, no friends I talk to my family and they told me I made the decision I have to live with it. All I want is the pain and disappointment to go away, i've tried so many things but in the end I hate every minute of my life.