I haven't been on here in quite a while. I'm not sure who I even know on here anymore. I'm losing it. Apparently people with eating disorders have one of the highest rates of suicide. I don't understand how people recover. I don't understand how people can get out of this place and live in a world surrounded by food and expectations. I don't understand how people can let go of the guilt. I feel like if I were ever going to get to a different place, I'd be there by now. I don't think anyone can fix my head at this point. I'm so tired of fighting this shit.