Hoping this'll help ~ Hi

So, obviously, I'm new here.

I'm hoping I'll find a bit of help here, since I just left a forum that made things a bit more worse.

I basically needed someone to talk to. That's why I joined. There's no way I could ever express any of my thoughts outside the internet.

A few things about myself: I'm 18, university student, worked hard to get in, I've been playing the piano for 13 years, and I spend a lot of time drawing manga style and making up my own stories. I sort of have an obsession with decorating and I spend a lot of time redecorating my house over and over, since it's once way to forget about my suicidal tendencies for a while.

I've been depressed for about 6 years. Have always felt like I didn't belong, however. Ever since elementary school, I think.

I've always managed to pull a happy face and pretend nothing's wrong. That's why most people would be shocked if they learned I'm suicidal. When I'm out with friends, I laugh and joke as if I'm just fine. However, when I'm back at home, things change. I should also mention that I also have some kind of bipolar disorder, mostly when it comes to my abnormal mood swings. Otherwise, I'm really good at hiding my true feelings from everyone.

My depression has been at its peak lately, and I really need some help as I'm thinking of suicide every hour of the day. I really hope I'll find something here, and if possible, try and help others.

 

hey
welcome
pm anytime *hug*
or join in chat

 

Thank you for your welcome ~

 

Hey welcome glad you reached out for support. Lots of people can relate and are very kind here. Chat a good place to meet people. Are you seeing a therapist or on meds for your depression Doing both seems to help the best.
Keep posting okay so others can reach out and help too.

 

Welcome back, do keep in touch and hope we are able to help in words of encouragement.

Yours Faithfully

 

Welcome to SF! Hope you find someone to connect with!

 

Welcome to SF!

If you want to talk or anything, my PM box is open.

 

Welcome to the forums!! Feel free to PM any of us..Sometimes one on one is easier to talk..Otherwise keep posting here and we will offer support..

 

Tossing my welcome in here too!
:kris:

I hope you find the connection you are in the need of here.

 

:welcome: to the forum. Feel free to talk as much as you'd like. You will find people that not only can relate to some of your feelings, but really do care about the person you are. I look forward to seeing you around. :hug:

 

Welcome to the forums!

I think posting here will help, it's helping me some.

I can definitely relate with that fitting in problem. I've felt like that all my life. I don't really put on a happy face though. I'm pretty expressionless all around (I have autism, so that might be why. I've heard people call it a "Dead fish stare" xD).

The piano? That's awesome, I've heard it's a really difficult instrument to play.