Hoping to Die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RetroJoe, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. RetroJoe

    RetroJoe Member

    Today is NOT a good day. I had to really struggle to force myself to post. While I have considered suicide, more often than not I find myself hoping to die. Right now is one of those times.....
     
  2. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Stay strong and know we are all here for you. We care about you. Please don't give up. Did you want to talk about what happened? Hugs
     
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  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @RetroJoe I just read on another thread you are on sertraline and pain meds. If you don't feel like they are working I would advise you talk to your doctor about this. I am sorry you are feeling so low but glad that you posted here and let us know how you are. You matter :)
     
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  4. AsahiBushi

    AsahiBushi Member

    Here, have a Limited Edition VaultTec Endurance Bobblehead! :)

    [​IMG]

    Talking to your doctor about your current meds is actually a very good idea.
     
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  5. RetroJoe

    RetroJoe Member

    Thanks for the reply, brknsilence. I appreciate the offer to discuss but I would have to write a book at this point. I just can't get anyone to listen to me. I'm the guy that takes care of things for others all of the time. Everyone looks to me constantly to fix problems. I feel like a utility. I'm unemployed due to the pacemaker/defibrillator that I had put in last month. We have one vehicle and it broke down today and I don't have the money to have it fixed. I have a 22yr old and 18yr old son that both have jobs and need the car to get back and forth to work. I didn't raise them so they weren't brought up the way they should've been. So yet again, the pressure is on me to take care of the car problem and I HAVE NO MONEY!! This paragraph is only a sliver of the is only a sliver of the issues I've had over the last 5yrs. I sent a message to my doc tell her to cancel all of my heart appointments because I didn't want to bother with all of it any more. I really just want to disappear.
     
  6. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Like Petal mentioned, "You do matter." We are here listening and everything.

    If you want to talk more we are here.

    So sorry things are rough. I do hope they get better very soon. Please don't give up. I know it's easier said than done.

    Just know you aren't alone. We will be here for you always.

    Hugs
     
    RetroJoe likes this.
  7. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you're struggling today-bad days suck and seem to last forever! I hope things get better for you very soon
     
  8. Sarah171

    Sarah171 Member

    Please continue going to your doctor appointments. Don't give up. You matter to so many. You've been going through a rough spot, but it's not going to continue this way forever. Solutions to your problems will be found so keep searching for answers. We're here for you. I wish you the best
     
  9. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I am also the "handy man" around here.
    Because I am disabled & draw bennies everybody thinks I have all the time in the world.
    Little did they know I have those days that I just shut down & get angry that they don't understand. Turns out it was myself that wasn't communicating my needs.
    They all now understand.
    Most my friends are long haul truckers. I do all their repairs on their homes & vehicles. I am also the "handy man" for the single moms.
    I never in my life have charged a friend for my services. The single moms never have money to pay for the repairs they need but I always found a way to make these "parts" or supplies they need magically appear as it hurt my wallet.
    My anger at myself for paying for supplies for those that couldn't pay had a simple solution. Those that can pay such as my trucker friends, puts $25 into a pot to help pay for those that can't pay. A simple insurance plan.
    This plan helps me with gasoline and keeps my budget intact. I also no longer get angry when the phone rings from somebody needing my help.
    I once thought my skills were a curse. Its now a blessing that keeps me occupied & feeling I am needed.
    I hope this was at least some what helpful.