Hoping to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mikemass84, Jan 31, 2010.

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  1. mikemass84

    mikemass84 Member

    I want to die, I am tired, so very tired. I have a will be on my own again soon which is when life gets to be its worst. I plan on isolatin myself from everyone to make my attempts easier and less painful. I hope everyday God, or Buddah, or Allah will come and save, no one ever shows up. The worst part is there are intermentant parts through my life where things "seem" ok, yet and still I always end up back in this same hole, so dark, so cold, so alone...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is those parts where things are okay that can help you hold on. It is these parts you have to try to remember okay because you know you can be back there again
     
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well I its not God, Buddha or Allah here but rather simple ol Bambi who has come to try and save you! How may you ask? By being a supportive friend that you can unload your burdens on as you do indeed seem very tired of the fight you have been putting up for which I imagine is a very long time.
    Seriously carrying all that on your own is too much for anyone person to deal with which is why there is this forum. Funny to think that who we get support from is those of us who are troubled ourselves but have the unique ability to understand and comfort you when often few in the real world can.

    I have been through so much and would be happy to be a listening ear, a supportive friend and who knows maybe you can get some advice from me that I have gathered in the 30+ years of dealing with this crap called depression/self-mutilation and suicidal thoughts.

    I know all too well the feeling of just being too tired to keep trying. That would summarize very well the feeling I had the night I wandered on to this place....alone in a dirty apartment with maybe so hope but simply to tired to go on...well something happened and I am not sure I can describe it but I am here today trying to give back what was so freely given to me.

    Would you like to share more of your story so we can all help and support you? If you would like more privacy you may send me a PM and we can talk there. I am on for the next few hours and am on daily so I will always respond to you (if you don't hear back send again as I accidentally deleted my PMs twice recently).

    Please hang in there and know that there is hope...you never know what is just around the corner do ya?

    Take care and hope to hear from you Bambi
     
  4. mikemass84

    mikemass84 Member

    The cliffnotes of my story is I grew up in fostercare, learned rejection at an early age and have no ideal how to take or accept love. This makes me push away the few who do and leaves me alone. I was doin well but managed to mess that up and now on tuesday I will be moving out into a single studio apartment... To be honest it scares, I'm not sure if I can make it there by myself. For the past few days I've been researching ways to go... I have a plan but will probably be to afraid to do it... This is no way to live, this should not be life...
     
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