Title about says it all. I have a partner now. Long distance so it isn't easy. It's painful being apart and I'm worried I'll destroy him with how I feel. I'm sort of coping, but then something will trigger me off. The title is actually a common occurrence. Sometimes I don't even see it coming. I'm terrible with names anyway. So I don't want to call an affronted strange by his name, so what? Now I'm triggered and just feel so shitty. I kicked my desk. It's 1AM here so I shouldn't be doing that. I don't really expect answers. I just want to type it out. Why can't I cope with this crap? And why does it get harder every year? Surely I should have toughened up to it by now? A wonderful end to a terrible day, feeling ill and depressed and now full on suicidal. I'm sorry everyone. I don't know why I expect/deserve support because goodness knows I'm a selfish bastard.