Horrible Day Today

[SillyOldBear]

I keep trying. I really do. I get up. Get out of bed. Work on my job search. Been doing that for 6 months. I call my Senators and Congressman regarding the ending of unemployment benefits. I contact employment agency. Run job search queries. Check company websites. Nothing! I consider Social Security. That equals poverty. I consider a reverse mortgage. House needs work. Today I even taped an interview with a local radio station regarding the impact of losing unemployment for myself, also its impact on others.

But it all seems so pointless. Just going through the motions and getting nowhere. I am so close to giving up and not getting out of bed. But that guarantees failure. I am depressed, but mostly I am afraid of losing everything. Everything I've worked for throughout my entire life. I don't want that to happen! But it gets to be a greater possibility every day. I wish I would go to sleep some night and never wake up.

:rain:

 

[DarkLordVader]

i too wonder why i continue to push myself the way i do, but alas i am pushing forth everyday. for my own sick sake i have given in to my darkness so it will not torture me mentally anymore. it may not be the best thing for someone like me, but i have no other alternative either. you must try to find something, anything that has meaning for you, a purpose that will give you that driving force in life that we all seek. once you find that, i can guarantee things might get a little better. i have been on the other side of madness, into calmness and i can say that life is easier and better. dont give up hope.... i pray you find peace within yourself and can muster the strength to push on.