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Horrible messages!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Shauna Lea, Feb 3, 2008.

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  1. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    These r the kind of messages i have been getting from my ex boyfriend:

    - Good to know you dont care, I'm done bye!

    - Goodbye forever there wont b much blood soon!

    - This feels so much better than the pain u put me through, the blood and cuts feel like heaven compared to the tears and heartache.

    - I hope you find my body, i hope u have a good life knowing you killed me, hope you think of me every day and think of how u killed me.

    - I am moving to heaven thanks for pushing me there

    - I blame you for everything and now for killing me

    And 2nite - the icing on the cake:

    - fuck u, ur a bitch i hate you forever. never talk to me again dont call or message of email, forget me, forget my name, forget everytthing we ever had, i wish i never met u. i hate you im glad i will b gone. ur nothing to me, there is no pact, the only thing i promise is that u ruined my life and killed me. i regret meeting u!

    We were together for 2 years. He lied to me, broke up with me, strung me along for 6 months, was with other people in the process. eventually (a year later) i have moved on for now. All i have ever done is help! What did i ever do to him? What was i supposed to do? Wait all my life? Wake up every morning wishing i was dead? Live with the hope that evry breathe is my last because i cant b with him? He has asked me to kill him because i am the one who is makin him do it. I love him, this life wasnt my choice. all i wanted was him and all i got was denial. I dont know what to do. Each word he writes and says breaks my heart and brigns me closer to the egde. It hurts and it's not going to stop hurting as long as i live. What is he was gone? I owuld b gone! I would blame myself...he tells me I'm to blame. I can't deal with this n e more!!!!!!

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hun, ignore him, and his threats. he is trying to make you feel guilty, make you feel you are the one that done wrong, he is being a manipulative asshole. it wont do you any good to listen to this nonsense from him, you should just make sure you keep your distance from him and let him move on with his life and you with yours :hug:
  3. Alliecat2

    Alliecat2 New Member

    He sounds dangerous. Change your number and move, and never talk to him again.... be careful.
  4. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I dont wanna lose contact because im so scared to lose him. This is someone who i love more than life itself despite all the lies and haterid. I will love him as long as i live, no1 will ever know me the way he does. I just want to b friends, b there for him...but i cant because it hurts so bad! How can i stay away when im scared he wont b here in the morning?
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Shauna, that's awful! :sad: I don't have any words..but just..stay safe hun. :hug::hug::hug:
  6. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    I believe on a lot of mobile phones you can block the number or you can have yours changed. This person sounds dangerous and should be treated as such. Sometimes its hard to say good bye but its not healthy mentally or physically to stay.
  7. Shauna, I've talked with you for over a year. This is the best you've been for yourself since I've known you. So, don't allow your now ex-boyfriend to pull you back down. :hug:
  8. First - block his number if you can.
    Second, and more importantly - ask yourself (and don't stop till you get an answer) why you are willing to put up with mental and emotional abuse and manipulation (which you know in your heart it is)? Lots of people have this "problem" and never bother to ask - but it can be really enlightening if you pursue it! If you DON'T do this, no one will be able to help you now, or ever...

    *edit* If you don't do this (a kindness to yourself) - you may likely find this pattern repeating in other relationships to come in your life - as countless others have found. Make no mistake - Unconditional Love does NOT mean accepting/condoning/making excuses for someone's harmful behavior...
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2008
  9. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I received very similar messages off my ex boyfriend after I broke up with him (we were together for 2 years), he texted me hundreds of times in the first few days saying how much he hated me and I killed him, he was going to kill himself, he also went as far as sending me pics of his self harming saying I made him do it. I totally understand how awful these messages you're receiving are making you feel.

    If he cared for you, he wouldn't be doing this and I think you are best cutting him out of your life. It will be painful, but at the same time I'm sure these messages you're receiving are painful too. You need to move on from him and the only way I think this is truly possible is if you cut off all contact. Don't reply to his messages (in my experience, that only gave my ex more fuel to text me back), maybe even block his number. It'll be hard for you to do but in the longrun, I think this is the best thing you could do.

    Take care. :hug:
  10. Veclord

    Veclord Active Member

    So he broke up with you after a TWO YEAR relationship so he could see other people and then got mad because you started doing the same? Well that no good son of a bitch. With each piece of trash he sends you it should make you that much more happy that he's no longer intimately involved with you. What were you supposed to do? Sit by with your hands pressed together in silence like a saint while he was messing with other girls instead of being focused on you like he should have? I'm appalled beyond belief. What a rotten bastard.

    These are mind games set up in order to intentionally hurt you. He knows that he screwed up and that it's over and due to his incredible insecurity he's going to take as many cheap shots as possible to keep you from being happy with the decision you made. If I could offer anything constructive to tell you at this point, it's that you can end all this moronic telephone foolishness by confronting him in person and nipping it in the bud then and there. Tell him to his very face that it's his fault this happened, you don't appreciate the way he's treated you past or present and you demand that he stop this madness now.

    The thought of doing something like that at this point is surely horrifying, but as long as he knows he has emotional power over you he's going to abuse it. By skipping over the telephone and any other written form and confronting him in person, you expose him for the coward that he behaves like and the second he realizes that there's a huge chance he'll leave you alone. The way things are going now he isn't going to stop; At least not anytime soon. But you have the power and the confidence he does not to stand up to him and take your life back. And you don't even need a weapon or violence to do it! Just some courage and good character. Something he is a long way from even hoping to achieve.
  11. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    you need to get him out of your life pronto. he cuts himself, tries to kill himself it's his choice, his fault, his actions, and not yours. It is in by no means your fault for any of it. just think back to all the pain he put you through months ago, hes just pissed that you moved on to someone better.
  12. Veclord

    Veclord Active Member

    He won't go through with it. He gets too much of a high from threatening others with the thought. No respect at all for the ones who really do it.
  13. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Thank you all so much for your replies! It means a lot! I received some more messages last nite which i didnt reply to and then i had a nightmare last nite that he killed himself and wrote in his will that I had to tell everyone that i shot him. I had to go around and tell his family and best friends (who r also some of my best friends) that i killed him. Even if i dont talk to him i can't get this off my mind. I care about him regardless or all this stupid behaviour and want to be friends in the long run so it's ahrd to cut him out as i feel like each day will be the end. I live in fear of that call from the hospital or his family saying that he is gone.

    I understand taht he is probably just doing this to get back at me and to make me feel the pain taht he is in but i can;t ignore it for the 1% chance that he really is suicidal...i can't lose him!

    He wont let me see him so i cant confront him face to face about it. I've been coping this kind of abuse all day every day at work for the last few weeks. he emails my work email telling me taht i killed him, putting words into my mouth. It's so hard to deal with it and still do my work to the best of my ability.

    It's soo hard!
  14. I say again, it would be best for you to evaluate WHY you are willing to put up with this "in the long run" as you put it - NO FRIEND treats you like that - and ONE intimately involved with you, even less!

    My last suggestion is to call the police and tell them, not only about the harassment (maybe even leave that out till they ask specifically) - but the threats to harm himself. Show them the texts. This is not CRUEL - they will hopefully deal with him appropriately and he'll be out of harm's way for the time (and you may get some much-needed rest).

    I'm so sorry about your terrible dream - this is eating away at you - though YOU didn't CAUSE this! And DO keep refraining from responding to his harassment. Do not engage him. There's nothing you can say to him in any case that will deter him and his psychotic spite. Again, can you not block his number?? For your own peace of mind...?
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2008
  15. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    :eek:hmy: whoa come on, you say one thing and then this, that just doesn't add up I'm afraid. Do you actually want someone in your life who will mess you about and blackmail you? If so, then it's going to be a bit difficult for us to help you. You really need to sort your thoughts out and get rid of this person, if you don't then you may well end up with some disasterous consequences. Don't feel guilty about this messages either, he obviously hasn't grown up.
  16. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Riverbank - I can see y it would b hard for people to understand my feelings towards him, i sometimes dont understabd then myself. I guess I'm cliniging on to the person that he was and the relationship we had. I know he can still b that person and hope that he gets through this and becomes better for it.

    I guess the reason y i'm putting up with it is because i think that i can help. I have been in his position and i know how much it hurts and i know what it's like to want to kill yourself because the person u love is with someone else. That's y - because i understand! he is taking it to an extreme which i can also underrstand....but i still can't accept it. It's really hard to hear!

    What happens if i block his number and all contact and then he goes through with it? Then i have to live the rest of my life in guilt?
  17. Call the POLICE...

    (empathy is a grand thing, but it's not your job to accept abuse. NOR is it your job to change him.)

    Call the POLICE...or as the other poster said, as did I, there is unfortunately nothing that anyone can do for you.
  18. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I'm just not sure if that's a little extreme. And again, what if that ruins the possibility of any relationship between us in the future?

    this probably sounds really annoying for u but im just so scared! Maybe i could tell his parents (as we r only 19) or maybe call the crisis team so they can visit his house or something? I know he would hate me for that tho! :sad:
  19. Do call someone...

    But other than that, sorry Luv, I give up... :sad:
    You'll have to come to your own realizations.
    I only hope it's not to late for YOU...
  20. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Thank you so much for ur help, it really does mean a lot to me!

    Sorry for being a pest...
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