Horrible Misery

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Aquariamethystea, Mar 12, 2008.

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  1. I sit here alone, typing this message, thinking about stuff, wanting to die, and not being "selfish" by doing it. Yeah, I know I'd actually be doing many people a favor by my dying. It is how it is and it probably always will be, until I die. I really hate my life here in this world. I think about how amazingly wonderful my life will be on the island, especially compared to now. No more disability, no more lonliness, always people to talk with, things to do, etc. I desperately want to od right now. I don't know if I'll be here again or not. I'm sorry to leave so soon, if I do leave.
  2. Your words are truly powerful Amethyst...I don't think it's selfish of me to wish you'd keep sharing them, Hon. You really move people, you've so much empathy...which is far different than sympathy. You give so much! I know that nothing seems worthwhile right now, and even the 'good' things seem incidental - but even sharing your darkness is a gift to others...

    And do so for yourself as well...
  3. Gem_Healer

    Gem_Healer Guest

    i know you online. please talk to me.
  4. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    :hug: I know this might not be of much help but I do enjoy reading your posts. Do you see a counsellor or a therapist?
  5. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Hi, Kurt. Sorry you are feeling depressed again. You and I have had numerous dialogues for the past few years. I wanna share with you my insights on life whether you agree or not.
    At this point in my life, (I am 26 yrs "OLD"), I look at life from much different angles than in the past. Right now, it is not so much about the results anymore, but rather the process. If I gave everything I have got and did my best each day, I will be proud of myself every night when I look at myself in the mirror. Maybe there are indeed things that are not meant for us no matter how hard we try.
    I am vehemently against suicide. I just can't imagine my family suffering and being traumatized for the rest of their life no matter how much they hate me for not being able to overcome depression. I wanna die without regrets. By that I mean, I will keep fighting like a warrior no matter how bad, miserable, torturous, and insufferable life is. Even if it means 50, 60 yrs of miseries, I will still keep fighting in my life. Who knows? If I am lucky, I will be taken out of this misery or this world soon.
    Please keep fighting. Always remember if you gave your all day in day out, you should be proud of yourself when you look at urself in the mirror.

  6. Thank you to everyone who responded.

    I'm still not well, and I'm still contemplating my choices for tomorrow before the weekend. I really am unsure of how I'm going to be. Either way, I'm very grateful for the support which I have received from people here on SF.
  7. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    I'd like to tell you to be strong.... to hang in there & that things will get better.... but I'd be a hypocrite. Horrible misery couldn't describe my life any better-so your not the only one suffering. I really hope to see you stay, if you can find reasons it'd be great! :yes: I don't know where I get reasons though.... but you can always talk to me if you like.
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