Horrible poem of mine

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by troon, Sep 25, 2007.

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  1. troon

    troon Member

    Banging your head against a brick wall
    Not knowing what to do at all
    Being frustrated beyond belief
    Waiting for a fresh breath of relief

    Tired of the way of the world
    Feeling as though you’ve been hurled
    A complete feeling of hopelessness
    Moving in such complete blackness

    Being unable to survive
    Wishing to not be alive
    Drowning in a sea of depression
    Looking for a hopeful bastion

    Wanting to find an escape
    From this melancholy landscape
    Looking for Death's embracing grasp
    To remove me from life's clasp

    Dreading the rising sun today
    Every second brings only dismay
    Seeing no rays of light
    Even in the daylight

    Hopeless at all times
    Wishing to be senseless sometimes
    The tightness in my chest
    Loosening to allow me to rest

    Just wanting to scream
    Hoping it is but a dream
    When will death come
    To make me numb?
  2. K3

    K3 Well-Known Member

    Not every line has to rhyme.. But other than that, its not horrible.. Its actually suprsingly good. Well done mate. Keep up the good work. You can also have it so that you rhyme like


    -nod nod- Anyway, well done! :D
  3. Blank with Empty

    Blank with Empty Well-Known Member

    I really liked it good job
  4. troon

    troon Member


    An existence of worthlessness
    Never knowing what to do
    Feeling the way blindly through darkness
    The life that I begin to rue

    Always a burden on people I love
    Impossible to do things right
    Constantly failing to end up above
    Walking in an endless night

    Friends asking for help
    Always I try to respond
    Calmly and without a yelp
    Yet deep inside I wish to abscond

    Always the fear of failure
    The unending feeling of ineptitude

    Another poem i'm working on
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