its T plus 18 days after my bone marrow transplant and apart from the obvious side effects of the transplant everythings fine. i'm really ill and its getting me really down. i'm being tube fed most because i can't eat or swallow, my throat and mouth is swollen and i've got ulcas under my tongue and bottom of my lip even though i've kept on top of my mouth care. i've also got a pleural rub, its an inflamation of the lung so when i breath it rubs along the side of my ribs. i heard it on the stethoscope, it sounds like footsteps in the snow and lastly, my bodies having a bad reaction to my pump. my pump is basically a blood and platelet transfusion, i'm normally only on it for 4-5 hours so my blood doesn't clot but my bodies having a bad reaction to it now for some reason. the platelets aren't lasting long enough so aren't doing their job properly so looks like i've got to be on the pump all day. it's upsetting because the doctor said the sooner i can turn all my meds into tablet form instead of IV then i'll be able to go home, the records there, its 22 days, i have 4 days to start eating again, to get better from the peural rub and 4 days to get my blood working properly. I'm getting fed up of staring at the same 4 walls, staring out the same window, seeing the same scenery, not being able to feel a real breeze of wind and having leafs hitting my face. i can't wait to get out of here.