Horrific. *may trigger*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A_pixie, Feb 23, 2009.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Life isn't worth me living it. It's evil.

    My cousin got a phone call from the police at the weekend. They asked him if he had been abused in a children's home he was at, he said no, he would remember stuff like that.

    They then asked him if they gave him coco every night, they did. The coco always had drugs in it the police said. They have drugged my cousin and raped him, abused him while filiming it. He's been on the internet all his life and he didn't even know until last week. It's gone world wide. Sickos from all over the world have been looking at videos of him being raped in his sleep. Him and 50 other kids.

    It gets worse. He is going to court to give evidence and they have warned him he will HAVE TO WATCH HIMSELF BEING ABUSED FOR THE FIRST TIME ON TAPE. It's going to be so dreadful for him.

    Someone I had a beautiful relationship with has called it off due to him having to sort his messed up head. I miss him and want him to hold me during this time. My heart is broken and I'm worried for my cousin.

    I haven't eaten properly in a long time and get by on slices of turkey or fish a day probably about 200 calories.

    I drink to calm my nerves.

    I want to be loved so badly and want the world to be alright but the pain just won't go away why the hell am I still living??? It's absurd!!!!!
     
  2. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    sweetie i'm so sorry you've had to go through all this, and i'm so sorry for the way your cousin has been treated. if you ever want someone to talk to you're always welcome to pm me, i tend not to eat a lot when i'm feeling low mainly because i get so anxious i don't want to eat, but when i was at college my tutor suggested energy drinks, not the likes of red bull etc but some ones with proper nutrients, which i found helpful as when i'm not getting the right nutrients my mood swings get worse, as does my skin. x
     
  3. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Pixie, I know there's nothing that I can say to change anything, but if you need an ear to vent at/to, I'm alwasy willing to listen with a sympathetic ear, and give what advice I can.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this. I wish there was something I, or someone else could do to ease this for you.

    Be strong for your cousin, and we'll be strong for you.

    Best wishes

    Kenny
     
  4. Lost in Heaven

    Lost in Heaven New Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Oh my god... That's terrible. :sad: I felt really sad reading this, there are so many sick people out there.

    My best wishes to your cousin.
     
  5. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    I cant even be in my ex's arms to cry about this. Its the fact that I did nothing wrong to him, I was a good girlfriend and even he said he didn't deserve me.... and he doesn't seem to react he's so apathetic but did give good advice. I want to be there for my family but the pain is shutting everybody out.

    I suppose I'm sorry about the state of affairs...the world is in a bad way and I want out before something worse happens if that's even possible. I don't want bad things to happen to people and I want to take away anyone's pain which is a nice thing to say but I can't do it :'(

    Ive tried to tell someone on msn about what's happening to my cousin but they havent even replied. I cant get over people's lack of compassion I dont want to live in a world with such cold people in it.

    The amount of evil in the world...the bad luck that keeps coming back JUST when I've found love and joy....I feel like I might crack up for good I keep thinking of dying.
     
  6. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    If anybody here prays, may I ask that you guys pray for my cousin and for me I know it would pain my family even worse for me to die, but in moments of weakness I tend to forget that :'(
     
  7. bluefish

    bluefish Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Pixie, I am so sorry for the pain that your cousin is going through right now. I will extend my prayers to him as well.

    I know exactly how it feels when the one person you reach out to, the one person that can make you feel comfort and love, does not seem to reach back. Just know that you have a strong community here that supports you and we are here to help. Your attempts at seeking help and comfort will not go ignored here. Stay strong.
     
  8. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Pixie, if it will help, feel free to add me on msn, am happy to listen. (my msn is in my profile)
     
  9. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Pixie I'm so sorry to hear about whats happening.My prayers will go out to you and your family. :hug: i know the world has alot of bad evil things in it.but it also has alot of good too.Pixie youre gonna have to be strong and not let all the crap and all the evil bring you down and take away your hope.everyone in this world has the strenght to fight and not let the evil bring them down.Everyone. :hug: I'm always here for you Pixie.
     
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Re: Horrific.

    Pixie, prayers are on the way!
     
  11. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Re: Horrific.

    Thank you, I will pray for you too :)
     
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