Life isn't worth me living it. It's evil. My cousin got a phone call from the police at the weekend. They asked him if he had been abused in a children's home he was at, he said no, he would remember stuff like that. They then asked him if they gave him coco every night, they did. The coco always had drugs in it the police said. They have drugged my cousin and raped him, abused him while filiming it. He's been on the internet all his life and he didn't even know until last week. It's gone world wide. Sickos from all over the world have been looking at videos of him being raped in his sleep. Him and 50 other kids. It gets worse. He is going to court to give evidence and they have warned him he will HAVE TO WATCH HIMSELF BEING ABUSED FOR THE FIRST TIME ON TAPE. It's going to be so dreadful for him. Someone I had a beautiful relationship with has called it off due to him having to sort his messed up head. I miss him and want him to hold me during this time. My heart is broken and I'm worried for my cousin. I haven't eaten properly in a long time and get by on slices of turkey or fish a day probably about 200 calories. I drink to calm my nerves. I want to be loved so badly and want the world to be alright but the pain just won't go away why the hell am I still living??? It's absurd!!!!!