Horrific Weekend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HardLuck, Oct 5, 2010.

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  1. HardLuck

    HardLuck Member

    I don't know where to start. I just need to vent and get this out I guess. I am a single mom, in my 30's. I have been diagnosed with "clinical MS" I had a bout of optic neuritis in early September and they are still running tests for MS. :unsure:
    I work for my parents and have for 10 years. My parents are very controlling and emotionally abusive under the guise of being "helpful" I am plotting to get away from them when I get my tax refund and can buy a car. My ex husband got the car in our divorce and then got it repossessed. :spaz:

    sorry for the life story

    This last weekend my kids and I went on a trip with my parents. It was hell. It was so bad that when I got home I was seriously considering suicide as an option to get out of this situation. We toured a place that was 95 - 100 degrees F and I went to walk back to the car and when I got to where the car was parked the car was not there. I finally found my parents and I pulled my father aside and calmly explained to him that I can't walk long distances in that heat any longer and can they please tell me before they move the car next time and I got screamed at. I am under Dr. orders not to get overheated.

    I have finger marks on my thigh above my knee from my father grabbing my leg because he thought it was funny how it made me jump and yell. It hurt very badly and left a bruise. I was told that if I raised my voice to my kids again telling them not to run in the restaurant that I was going to be beaten with a belt.

    There are many, many more things and this post is quite long. If you have made it this far bless you! Thank you for reading my rant.
  2. 41021

    41021 Banned Member


    Good Heavens!! You surely don't need that kind of stress in your life.
    Seems getting out of that situation as soon as possible, might be best for your physical and emotional wellbeing.

    Coping with MS is difficult enough. You don't need the additional stress. Would be nice to have supportive ppl around while coping with illness, but far better for you and the children to get out of that situation, at least in my opinion.

    Feel free to vent and rant as much as you need too. You surely don't need to keep this stuff inside. There are many supportive folks here.

    **hug** for you
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are treated like that hardluck...it's so unfair when you're not well to start with...some people never 'get it' when others are sick and that's when you need their support even more..
    getting away from there sounds good...I hope you can...
    have you thought of joining a support group with others in your area who would understand and offer some support with your illness?
    I have fibromyalgia which is very similar to MS but not as serious but I understand when you say about the heat affecting you...we have a support group in my area which has been helpful to me in the past...
    take care of yourself and I hope all goes well for you..*HUG*
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so sorry you have to have so much contact with someone who sounds truly sadistic and self-centered...what he found 'sunny', injuring you, is a true sign of his illness...hope you do get away, and find some comfort...please continue to post and let us know how you are doing...big hugs, J
  5. HardLuck

    HardLuck Member

    I have had fibro for years also. Not that I would wish the disease on anyone else, but it's nice to find someone else who understands :)

    Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. When the optic neuritis hit I asked for a position in my parents company where I didn't have to drive all the time as 1. I didn't feel like I was safe driving all the time anymore and 2. driving now is very exhausting for me
    They were unable to accomidate me. I can accept that. just tell me you cant do it. They didn't do that though. My dad told me basically that I had a job with him because I was his kid and that he had to give me a job for that reason. He went on to say that I sucked at every job I had ever had in the past and so had been let go from them all. This is not true. I have worked for some of the biggest companies in the world. I have been asked to come back and work for those companies again in fact.

    It was not necessary to hurt me and say those things. A simple "I'm sorry, we don't have a way of doing that" would have been enough. It was then that I realized that I have spend the last 10 years of my life as a slave to them. My marraige lost due to them, no doubt because I was too blind to see the abuse they put my exhusband through and he couldn't stand to watch me suffer any longer.
    My children being verbally and mentally abused at the hands of these people as I stood by and allowed it to happen without ever even realizing it was taking place. They have been exposed to every evil and horrible act that has been perpitrated apon me by thier grandparents.

    My oldest son is on antidepressants. He is 10. 10 year old kids are supposed to be happy and playing not worrying about things all of the time. I have messed up my life and thiers.

    When I realized all of these things and the weight of it all came tumbling down on me is when suicide started looking like maybe it was an option. but I can't leave the kids with these crazy people.
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i'm glad you are thinking this through clearly, despite all you have been through. You seem to have great strength, but you'll need that strength to get on your feet and also for dealing with this illness. Just keep that focus and goal in mind.

    I sure hope you can get out of there as soon as possible. I suspect the children will re-bound from the experience and things will be less stressful emotionally. You have been through enough as it is...you don't need to put up with this any further.

    ***hugs*** for you

    This is a good place to talk and share what's going on. I'm sure it must be difficult to get through on a daily basis. There are good folks here to offer support to you.
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