Honestly, its not so bad. I mean, I don't look forward to going in there. But if you are really suicidal, its not a bad thing.
Sometimes you meet really nice people there. There are often other patients who are going through the same thing you are, and in the hospitals I've been in, people were really supportive of each other.
First, you will go the the emergency room. (unless you are directly admitted by your doctor) you will wait a LOOOONG time. Someone will screen you. Then if they want you to go in, they will ask you. If you agree, you wil go in voluntarily. If they feel you need to go in but you refuse, they may have the legal ability to commit you. Avoid this. If you agree to go in, they will continue to treat you as a person who is actively seeking help.
In order to make sure that you (and the other patients) are safe on the unit, they will take away your belt (if you have one) and shoelaces so noone can hurt themselves. They will also take perfume, make-up, deorderant, etc, and keep them by the nurses' station or in a locker so that you have to ask to use them. I never could figure out why they took away deorderant, I can't imagine someone eating it, but they do take it away. Rules vary unit by unit, but you usually aren't allowed certain things, the hospital I went in had a rule that no one could bring in unsealed food because people were putting drugs in it. Most hospitals don't let you smoke, unfortunately.
Hospitals vary, but usually you are assigned a person (nurse) to talk to. And you will get a psychiatrist and a social worker. The pcyhiatrist will meet with you once a day (hopefully) he will almost definitely change your meds. And that is the advantage of being in the hospital- they can make drastic med changes fast - unlike on the outside, where they have to change them slowly. This is becasue you are in a controlled environment and are being observed so that if there are any sudden mental or physical side effects, you will be taken care of right away.
There will be groups. In those groups, you will talk about what brought you to the hospital. People will share thier stories. Some of the grous may be themed- like dealing with anger, coping with abuse, etc. Most of the time the groups are optional. Try to go to them- they can't help you if you don't go, and it looks good to the doctors to see that you are trying to get better. use the groups.
IT may be a little scary. There will probbaly be a few people in the hospital with you who are suffering from severe psychotic disorders- however, if you are on a voluntary unit and not a committed unit (i.e. you went in on your own recognizants (sp) there probably won't be many. Don't be afraid of them, they are not dangerous or they would be in a locked unit. Also, there are nurses all around who are trained in how to diffuse situations. But it can be unnerving to deal with someone who thinks bats are out get them, etc.
But don't sweat it- just be glad you're not in that state.
Most of the peopel will be like you- either there for suicidal feelings, observation on a medication adjustment, or for drug and alcohol abuse. A lot of people who go to rehab spend a few days in mental wards first. So you may run into a lot of them. You may be surprised at how nice people are and how helpful it is to talk to the other people.
Depending on the hospital, it may be frustrating that the nurses and counselors will be too busy to talk as much as you'd like. Though most of them will make time for you. There will be a lot of downtime, time when you are doing nothing. I strongly suggest bringing a book or two.
Now, if you go in voluntarily, you can leave voluntarily if you don't like things. Here is how it works. You can submit a 24-48 hour notice. This says you want to leave. The doctor will then meet with you and evaluate you. If he decides you aren't going to walk out the door and kill yourself or someone else, he will clear you to leave. If he thinks you are in serious danger, he may try to commit you. They have to do that because they don't want you to get hurt. But usually, you can leave if you want to.
More good news- you won't be there long. Most of the time, you will be out in a week. And you will be on new meds. And that might help. It's only a week of your life, and its not that bad.
If you are feeling suicidal, really in danger, please go. It's worth it to save your life. Go somewhere safe. It really isn't that bad. And its not for that long.
