Hello, I am a 30 year old man who is at the end, Well I guess I just dont know where to turn hence why I am on here. Nobody understand my pain I feel. I tried to kill myself twice last year, once by taking a whole lot of pills which as you can tell did not work. The second attempt I hung myself but was found quickly by friends who found me and cut me down. At this time I had just lost a girlfriend of 5 years who was my life, now I am in the same boat. I once again stepped into the waters of love cautiously and everything was going great and then BANG, she wanted to be alone, independent and have her space. I did all the mistakes of beggin, pleading, the odd time crying. She had me over the other day after sometime of not talking and started acting as if we were still together. Then the next couple days it was like I wasnt even an after thought? This pain is too much for me I am alone, tired, worthless, and life sucks. I really feel I have nothing to live for. i have tried hospitals, shrinks, counslers, friends family, and I dont care anymore. I have it all worked out on how I will do it this time. I got a hose to go from my car muffler to window, and some pills to make me sleep right through the process. I written a last will and testiment, and a note to my friends and family. I wont lie I am a little scared of it, but at the same time I have nothing goign for me, my job sucks and I ahvent worked in a month since the break up. I dont eat and barley sleep. There is just no way out my heart is empty and I feel llike I am already dead anyway. I sit her and just stare at the wall and dont move. Its time to stop thiking and talking about doing it and just do it, because I wont have to feel this pain or anything anymore. And that sounds really good.